Big vent---excessive calls!
With a two year old and a brand-new baby, you would think SS's BM would be busy, maybe not have time for excessive calls?
Nope. No chance.
We went to the circus last night. SS was with me during the day yesterday and DH got home from work around 4 pm. He had SS call his mom and SS told her we were going to the circus.
Fast forward to 8 pm, smack dab in the middle of the circus, DH's phone starts vibrating. She called once. Then she called again about 2 mins later. Voicemail left. Then she sent a text message asking where her son was/if she could talk to him.
DH texted back "at the circus."
It's just crazy to me b/c DH ALWAYS has SS call at bedtime. ALWAYS. He never doesn't have to call or "witholds contact" so I don't understand why she can't just wait for SS's call. Especially when she knows we are doing something.
So my restraining order on BM expired last month and I didn't mess with renewing it. Partly because DH & I lived apart last month, but also because I felt (hoped) enough distance had been created and that BM would not resort back to her old ways. She certainly has not been fighting with DH/causing issues the way she used to. I think her not drinking has helped A LOT.
Anyway, we are doing a week-by-week summer schedule. SS is with us from Monday at 5 pm until the following Monday at 5 pm. Then he's with BM for the following week, then with us again, etc. It is a simple schedule and SS is really enjoying it so far. He was excited about not having to move around as much.
BM does not have my cell phone # and she will not. But she was complaining to DH that she didn't have a way to talk to SS during the day. (We don't have a landline anymore.) SIGH. We do have a MAGIC JACK that runs through the computer. I took it with me when I took SS on spring break to the Carribbean and he talked to his mom 2x a day (per her request) that way---morning and night. I ALWAYS had him call at those times, without fail. Side note---it was a struggle to get him to call her. He would moan and complain that he was busy, didn't want to talk to her, already talked to her, etc.
He is at the point where he gets embarrassed by her calls and he honeslty doesn't have much to say on the phone, anyway. It's not that he doesn't love her, just that he is in the moment when he's with us, and doesn't like the multiple forced conversations. (He is the SAME w/DH when he is with his mom, which is WHY DH only calls SS once a day---at night---to say a quick goodnight.)
Anyway, the Magic Jack is now up and running through our computer so BM can call SS and vice versa if he wants to call her. (which he never does.) NO ONE else has this number so if it rings, we know it's her.
I was nervous about this and now I know for good reason:
Phone rang at 8:30 AM while I was in the shower. I saw the missed call and asked SS if he wanted to call his mom back. Nope, not now, playing the Wii.
I was doing some online work on the computer and the damn thing rang 4 more times in a span of about 20 minutes. GEEEZ.
Then DH called my cell and said BM was b*tching to him that no one was answering the phone.
UGH. First of all, she doesn't even know if I am home with the kids or not! For all she knows, we could be out at the park or running errands or at the pool.
Secondly---SS is NOT going to be "on call" for her all summer long. It honestly is intrusive and disruptive.
The phone rings THROUGH the computer, not through the house. If I am not near the computer room, I don't hear the phone, plain and simple. Likewise, if I am in the room and SS is downstairs in the basement playing the Wii, I am NOT going to run down there and get him. His mom can leave a voicemail and he can call her back when he wants to.
Anyway, I guess BM called DH to see if HE could call ME on my cell to see where we were. UGH. Thankfully, DH told her he had no idea what I was doing with the kids today and if there was no answer, for her to leave a message and SS would call her back when we got the message.
So she called AGAIN and left a message. I had to MAKE SS return the call, and it was literally a one-sided conversation. He was short and trying to get off the phone.
Then she called back AN HOUR LATER and left another message saying she misses him and for him to call her back this afternoon to talk.
GEEEEEZ. Can the kid not just BE in the present at our house without her bazillion calls?
I mean, she goes all day without talking to him when he's at school, so what is the difference?
I guess what I really don't like is the excessive calling. If there is no answer, LEAVE A MESSAGE. Don't call back four more times in the next twenty minutes!
UGHHHHHH. It is particularly irritating BECAUSE it rings through the computer, so if I am doing online fundraising or blogging, both of which are WORK for me, it messes up the screen, and I have to wait until the phone stops ringing to go back to what I was doing. Or I can hit IGNORE but then it's clear (to her) that I hit ignore.
I wish we could just go back to not having a line for her to call. It was fine before with her calling DH's cell. She would generally talk to SS around dinner time and then again at bedtime.