anyone sending save the date cards?

morrisonsMYmuseAugust 8, 2005

ahhhhhh! this wedding stuff is so stressful.

i wanted to send save the date cards, but i have no idea when to send them. my wedding is june third, 06. i was thinking of sending them in january, when everyone is getting their new calendars so they could go ahead and mark it, but my mom said that that may be to soon to send them. anyone know when is the proper time to send the save the date cards?

also, i was thinking of ordering my invites and save the dates all toghether because if your order is over two hundred dollars you get a discount and i'm going to have to buy all the stuff anyway so why not get the discount while i'm at it. but what if something changes and we have to move the wedding date... then i'd be up the creek... do you guys thing that the risk is worth the twenty percent discount? or should i just play it safe?

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morrisonsMYmuse: search for the earlier string called "Save the Date Announcements/Invitations." You will get a lot of info there.

Are you sure you want to send these at all? To whom are you thinking of sending them? A lot of posters on that previous string who received them found them pushy, especially for in-town guests, as if the hosts were saying, "I own your calendar; don't you dare plan anything else for this date or I will be offended," or "I know the Joneses are planning an event the same day as ours, so I want to beat them to all the guests." Out of town guests do appreciate extra time to make travel arrangements. But many posters felt that even for them, printed "save-the-date" cards or magnets were not as good an idea as simply letting those guests, as well as your closest in-town friends and relatives, know your dates some more informal (and cheaper!) way, such as an e-mail or call, or a note on something you are sending anyway (holiday cards or other correspondence). The people you care most about attending probably know you are engaged and approximately when the wedding will be anyway, and they won't accept any other invitations until they make sure it won't conflict with yours. Besides, you'll probably be talking/writing to them between now and then anyway and they'll know your date without a formal notice. Remember, the wedding magazines, etc., that discuss these and other things as if they were "musts" are supported by the vendors who make money off them, including stationers. So consider whether you really need and want them, in light of YOUR guest list and plans, not some "rule."

As far as whether to order ahead and get a discount, I'd look at it like any other deposit that you may forfeit if your plans change. Muliply the amount of money you'd lose by the the chance of losing it, and then you'll know what to do.

If you do send these cards, I wouldn't base it on when people buy calendars, but on how much lead time they will need to make travel plans.

    Bookmark   August 8, 2005 at 9:58AM
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the guests i was thinking of sending these to are out of town guests who i rarely talk to... my step father's family and my fiance's family and it's just so that they have adequate time to plan a trip... alot of them can't get up and go on a spur of the moment and they have to save money for a trip and i thought that it would be considerate to let them know the exact date so that they can make arrangements!

    Bookmark   August 8, 2005 at 2:25PM
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As a wedding coordinator, I have numerous couples that send save the date cards. The cards should be sent only to out of town guests who must make travel plans, unless you are having your wedding in a location that is "out of town" for everyone, such as a destination wedding. The cards should be sent about 9 months before the wedding, but no later than 6 months early. Because of your June wedding, I would send the cards in November, before people begin receiving Christmas cards.

Most people print their own cards rather than purchasing them. They are simple to make and basically say "Save the Date" plus your names, the date, and location and say "more information will follow at a later date."

    Bookmark   August 8, 2005 at 4:43PM
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personally, I'd say send the info on *when* your wedding will be as soon as you know it.

And don't be hurt if someone ends up with "previous plans" and is unable to make it. Out of towners can always say it's too expensive, but folks just across town have a hard time looking believable and noninsulting when they say this if they've received a save-the-date card.

    Bookmark   August 8, 2005 at 6:29PM
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I agree, morrisonsMYmuse, it's considerate of you to let those out of towners know so that they have time for travel plans. I know that is why you are considering it. But how many are we talking about? Even if you are unlikely to be talking or writing to them, is someone else in either family going to, so that they will be aware of the date anyway, or can be made aware otherwise than by a printed card? For the remainder, I would just consider sending an e-mail or hand-written note saying something like, "How are you? We hope you're having a great summer. We've set the date for our wedding: June 3, 1006, and we wanted to let you know right away, because we really hope you will be able to make the trip and join us. Love to all! -- Bride and Groom" (with whatever additions are necessary to personalize it and talk about THEM a bit). I think that if I were an out of town guest, I would find that to have more of the tone of really wanting my presence and thinking of my convenience than receiving a printed card ordering me to "save the date." But that's just MHO -- I wouldn't be offended if I received one, I just think that I actually would prefer the cheaper option.

I also agree with Sweet Pea about the timing (and I respectfully disagree with your mom). If you're going to send them at all, less than six months seems kind of pointless -- might as well just send the invitations early in that case.

    Bookmark   August 8, 2005 at 6:41PM
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I agree with Sweet Pea. I would send them out early for out-of-town family/guests since some people may have to request vacation time off from work. Many companies want to have that information by January anyway.

    Bookmark   August 15, 2005 at 6:11PM
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First, book your locations so that you know you will be able to rely on that particular date. I sent Save the Dates because about 2/3 of our guests came from out of town. First of all, they needed to plan our location into their summer, and perhaps as part of their summer vacation. Secondly, the hotels in the area filled up months before the wedding, and if they had not known to book early, they would not have been staying at the location or even close by. A friend has a fabulous computer and makes stationery and invitations for weddings, so she was able to make my Save the Dates for us and personalize them, and we added a ribbon. Everyone raved about them. We sent them to out of towners and even some very busy local guests too.

    Bookmark   August 15, 2005 at 9:05PM
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i'm making my own too. they look beautiful. just simple white with our names and wedding date in blue. and our monogramed initials behind the wording. i love them... they dont' even look homemade, they look like i spent a fortune on them... i'm very proud of them....

    Bookmark   August 16, 2005 at 11:40AM
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Here the link from the earlier post

Here is a link that might be useful: Save the Date Cards Thread

    Bookmark   August 18, 2005 at 6:07PM
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For my save the date cards, i'm thinking of putting a map on one side and flagging all of the local hotels, the wedding site and the reception site, and all of the local tourist attractions so that my guests can plan their trip around what there is to do in the area, and, since it's in the summertime, maybe make a mini vacation out of it. good idea or bad... your thoughts are welcome...

    Bookmark   August 18, 2005 at 11:25PM
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A lot of people reserve a block of rooms at a convenient hotel. You can usually get a good group rate that way, and then everyone is staying at the same place, which makes it easier to share rides and is also fun. In our community, often close friends host a hospitality area at the hotel, too. So you may prefer doing that and including reservation info instead of just a list of local hotels. But I have not seen that sent with a save the date card, just with the invitations to out of towners or, less often, sent to them separately around the same time as the invitations. Ditto info about local attractions; I see that in hospitality bags awaiting guests at the hotel -- I don't recall getting it in the mail in advance.

Whether it is a good idea to sort of be suggesting that your invitees plan their vacations around the wedding depends upon your guests. Will they feel that it is pushy? Or that they will have to explain it to you if they choose not to make a whole week out of it, or want to come for longer but do something different? Many people only get one short vacation per year. Will any of your relatives feel that others will press to make it into a family vacation they don't want? Probably not, but in a few families that could be an issue.

Of course, if you live someplace like Hawaii or the Outer Banks, I for one would certainly consider making a week out of it! But then, I could probably find tourist info myself.

    Bookmark   August 19, 2005 at 7:36PM
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well, i'm finding that people are going to have a problem with just about anything i decide to do, so i'm just going to do it my way and if someone has a problem with it, then it's their problem.

    Bookmark   August 19, 2005 at 11:56PM
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Good for you! Try to be thoughtful, and leave it up to them.

We had many guests coming from across the country. Moreover, our area and state are vacation destinations, so I mailed cute Save the Dates in the early fall for a summer wedding and left it up to the guests to plan as they please. At least I assisted them by giving them plenty of warning if they did want to make the trip. And I certainly understood it if the trip would be too much to consider. We were surprised at how many out of town guests we had, so I guess we did it right.

    Bookmark   August 20, 2005 at 11:33PM
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We decided to send our "save the date" magnets out early to help everyone in their planning. (We have a lot of guests flying from out of town.) Our wedding is next January, and we got the bulk of the magnets (and letters) out a week ago. Of course there are the few people we are having trouble getting addresses from... Anyway, I don't know what the etiquette is either. I'm new at this too, and have never received a magnet or card myself.

Good luck with your wedding. Believe me... I know how stressful this all is!

    Bookmark   March 28, 2006 at 4:44AM
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