And BM just does not get it. She never will. Nothing ever gets through to her, not the counselor, not DH, not even her own family telling her to back off.
I don't know what the problem is as of late---DH has kept me pretty sheltered from it, but I know "issues" have been brewing.
I know BM often has this particular "beef" in the summer. They do a week on, week off schedule---and BM gets, I think, jealous that SS is with me during the day on our weeks. I think it's b/c she is stuck at home, broke and with two other little kids. It's much easier for ME with 2 nine year olds to go to the pool or to a movie, or to the zoo, whatever. BM has no money and a 3 yr old and an infant, which makes "entertaining" SS a lot more difficult.
She's jealous. I know she is.
But it's one of those damned if we do, damned if we don't because she really doesn't WANT him with her all the time, either. On the one hand, she is "happy" to have a break from having three kids, I think. This past Monday, for example, DH gave her the option and said "Do you want me to pick SS up at 9 AM at the beginning of my custody period or do you want to have him during the day and I'll get him after work?"
BM said she would keep SS during the day, but then she was all in a tizzy when DH picked him up at 6 pm and said that he's a deadbeat, HE needs to watch SS and not have me or her do it.
This has been their summer custody arrangement all along and even the GAL said it----DH can put SS in camp during the day, I can watch him OR if BM WANTS to, SHE can watch him.
End of story. It is UNFAIR to expect DH to be able to take every other week off in the summer! Come on.
So for the last three years, I've had SS during the day on our weeks and it works fine. He has fun, that's all that matters. Right? Not in BM's mind.
It's like she doesn't really want SS to be with her but she doesn't want ME to have him, either, I guess.
Anyway, things had been relatively quiet all week since the Monday episode. (SS is with us until this coming Monday morning, then back with BM for a week.) I've been taking the kids to swim practice, soccer camp, the pool, the bookstore, etc. It's been a nice start to summer.
So BM calls this morning and SS answers and says excitedly that we found a box turtle in our backyard AND we're going to a carnival tonight.
And she just plows right on over him!
I don't know what exactly was said; I try to make myself scarce when she is on the phone with him but she kept him on the line for almost ten minutes and I heard him try to say goodbye at least three times.
The jist I got from him after was that she was mad because--HEAVENS---he only talked to her ONE TIME yesterday.
(She lit into him last night at bedtime for not calling her during the day, and then sent DH a nasty text saying she is sick of SS not being "available" to take her calls during the day and she is getting him a cell phone.)
So SS gets off the phone this morning and starts BAWLING. I gave him a huge hug and asked him what was wrong and he said he had "too many emotions."
Then proceeded to say:
"My mom doesn't want me to go back and forth anymore. She wants me to have a cell phone so she can talk to me whenever because she worries.I'm only nine, I don't know what to do, she misses me when I'm here."
HATE HER. HATE HER. HATE HER.
She is destroying her son!!!!! I HATE IT.