How does everyone with multiple children that have different fathers/mothers deal with the child 'left behind'?
DS is almost 4 and is having a difficult time understanding where Dd (his half sister) is. We have always made it openly known, Dd has a different father, Dd visits her father, Dd is with her daddy and you're with your daddy. Dd does not call Dh dad or any form of it. She calls him by his first name and DS knows this but I just think he is still too young to comprehend it. Because we do not have a very good relationship, I can't introduce DS to dd's father or his family so that he can put a name with a face and maybe grasp it. Dd has pictures of her dad, Sm, stepsister, grandparents, cousins and we tell him 'this is dd's dad or grandma' etc.
She has been gone over a week. He is starting to act out, cry a lot, fuss, temper tantrums. He wants to sleep in her bed, play with her toys, he asks me constantly 'where is sister'. I repeat it over and over but a few minutes later, here he comes again. I tell him, it's Wednesday, she will be home in 1,2,3 days on Friday night. We have a calendar and we X out the days. So he sees how 'many' are left. But I still think he is too young to literally comprehend the calendar. The calendar was not meant to help him, it's just a wall calendar but it became a 'Dd at dad's' Dd dance 'Dd picture day' Dd registration etc calendar. But I had the idea I could 'show' him how many more days. I say 3 more days he says 'where's sister'. I just end up changing the subject and getting him busy.
He didn't sleep well last night and when it was time to wake up, he was hard to stir, he started immediatly 'where is sister, I miss my sister'.
It breaks my heart!!
I have done well this entire time. I have not heard from dd at all but I have felt like I'm doing good, staying busy, not fretting but today I believe is my breaking point. I can't handle it anymore. Everyone says 'we miss her' my entire family! They call 'have you heard from her? Tried calling?'
Now this with DS and I am just at a loss. The poor kid. He misses his sister. Bd and SM have such contempt for my son and I'm not sure why so they would be NO help if I involved them and said, hey can he meet you or can he please talk to her on the phone to help with our situation. What is so sad is everyone is so worried about the best interest of the child but I have another child here and his interests will never be considered. I know it's not the courts concern or their concerns, who cares I have another kid, should of thought about that before creating a new addition to a stepfamily BUT I don't care -- he's my baby and his interests are important to me... And they are important to Dd. They are very close.
Any suggestions, experiences would be greatly appreciated. she will return to BDs after the weekend for 3 full weeks with no break. I'm literally dreading it for two reasons now instead of just missing her and not getting to talk to her, now because DS is so miserable.