Honesty or spare feelings?
My dad has been with his girlfriend for over seven years now.
She is my DH's age--34. My dad just turned 62.
Of all the women my dad has dated, she is the one that surprises me the most. She has two kids---who were 3 and 6 when they started dating---who are now 10 and 13. A boy and a girl. Their dad has been in and out of jail their entire lives--he is a drug addict, and has really struggled with his addiction. The kids rarely see him--when they do, it is because their paternal grandparents take them to visit him. My dad's GF has full custody, the kids never sleep over with their dad or even spend time with him unsupervised.
Anyway-she is a waitress and bartender.
My dad has a Ph.D and is about as successful and well-educated as they come; he truly is a multi-millionaire, but it's been through years of hard work. He is incredibly smart. In the past--he dated a psychiatrist, an anchorwoman at Fox News, and an investment banker. So it is funny to me---that he would even find anything in common with his girlfriend now. (I think a part of HIM likes feeling "superior" to her.)
But it's been SEVEN years, so there is obviously something there. And really--she is not even that pretty! She's kinda dumpy looking--seriously, a little chunky! She is photogenic---blonde hair, blue eyes, great smile, but she is truly not that pretty. My dad thinks she is GORGEOUS, though.
Ok, so superficial stuff---job, looks, whatever--aside, she is a B*TCH. I have come to this conclusion mostly over the last couple years--she really is just mean. It's hard to pinpoint, but I've spent enough time with her over the years on vacations and just in general to realize she is A) a little jealous of me and B) kind of manipulative/mean spirited.
My husband thinks so, my brother thinks so, and I have spoken to a couple of my dad's friends who have pretty much said "We don't get why he is with her."
But I never tell my dad this; he goes on and on to me about how wonderful she is, how kind, how loving, blah blah. And I always agree, "oh yes, dad, she is great."
I often wonder--maybe I should just be honest? I don't have to dog on her but I could just say "I'm honestly not that fond of her."
I don't know. My dad obviously adores her and I don't want to hurt his feelings or make him sad--but I also don't like pretending. And it bugs me b/c I do think they will get married. Their plan all along has been to get married when her kids are out of highschool. My dad has made it clear that he does NOT want to raise kids again.
But get this---about three years ago, she had her MOM move in with her so she could spend more time with my dad. Seriously, she prettty much lives at my dad's on the weekends while her mom cares for her kids. It chaps my @$$ b/c I have never seen anyone pawn her kids off as much as she does--she bartends at night a few nights a week, is at my dad's almost every weekend, so when does she see her kids??? UGH.
I think she is a crappy mom in addition to being a b*tch. And it kind of disappoints me in my DAD, to be honest, because I feel like those kids are not only being deprived of their mom a lot, but also of the chance to have had a dad. Their mom could have been with someone her age who would embrace the role of stepfather. I personally would not have chosen to be with someone who made it clear he did'nt want to be around my kids.
Plain and simple---I think she is after his money. I do think she definitely loves him, but I think there is a money element, as well.
So-should I just bite my tongue and keep pretending I like her, or should I just be politely honest and say she is not my favorite person, but as long as my dad is happy...??? Like I said, I definitely do NOT want to hurt his feelings.
My brother and I are always hatching ways to introduce him to someone else!!!!