Received evaluation report...seriously, this makes me SICK

lovehadleyJune 5, 2009

It is the most bogus thing ever.

Here is what it says:

Met with ____ to complete her assessment. Client reports she may drink every other weekend when she and her husband go out to dinner. She states she will drink 1-2 glasses of wine in a 4 hr. period. Client admitted receiving 1 DWI 4-5 years ago but had just left happy hour after work and had 3 drinks. Client was on time and had good eye contact. Denies homicidal and suicidal thoughts. States she has no problem with alcohol nor has she ever. Based on information provided by client, no treatment is recommended.

BARF.

It is all lies. Let's see---her DWI was 3 yrs ago and she got arrested around 1 or 2 am. Her blood alcohol level was SO HIGH that the courts recommended she do a lock-down weekend (scare tactic) at a hotel with other offenders. But YEAH--she had just left "happy hour." Uh huh.

I LOVE how there is NO mention of the incident that prompted us to take her to court. How convenient that she "forgot" to mention that. And 1-2 glasses in a 4 hr period? HA. She drank a BOTTLE of wine in my kitchen in under an hour! And this was AFTER she had been at a bar all afternoon and got so wasted she had to have me go get her son off the school bus on HER custodial night. But yeah---she doesn't have a problem---because "normal" people spend idle monday afternoons at the bar getting sloshed, and then attempt to drive off with their kid, right?

And she drinks EOW with her husband when they go out to dinner? Interesting, considering the fact that her DH has been working and living in TEXAS for the last 8 months, only coming home every 6-8 weeks, if that.

Interesting that she forgot to mention that she drank all throughout her pregnancy with her DD. Interesting that she didn't mention that she called my DH about a year ago, sobbing, saying she'd gotten drunk, and went home with some guy (NOT her husband) and had been raped and needed a ride.

I could go on and on.

What a bogus, BS report. All I can say is I hope and pray this backfires on her, and that the judge orders a NEW and ACCURATE evaluation.

This is just a joke.

Sorry for the huge, somewhat bitter, vent. I feel better now! :)

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sweeby

Such profound insight!
Now aren't you glad you hired an expert?

    Bookmark   June 5, 2009 at 11:49AM
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nikemama

Well, That is sweet. It should be okay because Judge already knows that the report isn't in line with what they already know. I feel like the Judge will throw it out in a heart beat. If your lawyer calls her on it for sure. I would ask who's paperwork is that because it sure don't match HER record.

    Bookmark   June 5, 2009 at 12:07PM
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finedreams

I wonder what those evaluations are based on. if they are only based on what the person says, then what is the whole point? who is going willingly admit they have a problem (unless they want to recover which is not the case here)?

I thought that evidences and facts would be considered. i agree that years ago incidents might not indicate current problem but the fact that she was recently drunk, assaulted you and attempted to drive away was not considered?

It seems strange to me and something just doesn't add up. It is like determining if somebody commits a crime: client says they didn't commit it so we recommend no punishment. ha. what about facts? don't they look at those?

    Bookmark   June 5, 2009 at 12:09PM
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lovehadley

FD, it is because there was nothing in the court order requiring the GAL to speak with the evaluator. He SAID it, both to us and to BM, that he was going to call the facility. BUT because it was not explicitly spelled out, BM's attortey told her to not sign the release form.

It was a sneaky move and I do think, as does our attorney, that it will backfire.

BM balked at the evaluation in the first place and it was the JUDGE that said "look, this incident occured on a Monday afternoon, took place in front of a child, and the police were called. This is not normal, and needs to be investigated." (that is not verbatim, but close enough.)

So I think the judge is going to be none too pleased when she reads this fraudulent report.

I really think in the long run it just makes BM look that much worse. So not only is she an alcholic, but she is also a liar, and trying to trick the system.

    Bookmark   June 5, 2009 at 12:15PM
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sweeby

Why on earth would a person with alcohol habits like BM claims go in for an alcohol evaluation?
Because she herself was concerned? (Yeah, right)
Because her spouse or children were concerned? (Why?)
Because of a court order from a 4-5 year-old DUI? (A bit late, don't you think?)

Rest assured Hadley that the evaluator wasn't fooled either. Not for a minute. BM's story doens't make ANY sense in the context of an alcohol evaluation. But with only that information, what else could they possibly do? At least they fully documented BM's BS, and it certainly WILL come back to bite her.

Frankly, if she had gone in there and told some watered-down version of a "struggle that she's now winning" where fact-checks wouldn't prove she lied -- that would be harder to refute and easier for the evaluator to swallow.

    Bookmark   June 5, 2009 at 12:51PM
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imamommy

Sweeby is right. They merely documented what she said. The report, standing alone... makes her seem okay. In the court room, with evidence to the contrary, it makes her look so much worse.

SD's BM did the same thing. She said so many things in mediation that we can prove are lies at trial. Consider it in your favor because she documented she's a liar. (and that points directly to her having a problem... denial!)

    Bookmark   June 5, 2009 at 2:39PM
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quirk

Not only is she a liar, she's a really bad liar. A good liar would have acknowledged and discussed the incident leading to the order for the evaluation (the night she assaulted you). Explained how it was a really bad response to xyz major stressor that happened that day and made her realize that blah blah. That's documented in court and police records, she can't believably pretend it didn't happen.

    Bookmark   June 5, 2009 at 2:49PM
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mom2emall

I am hoping that Sweeby and IMA are right and this bogus evaluation makes her look worse!

And FD I LOVED what you said:
"It is like determining if somebody commits a crime: client says they didn't commit it so we recommend no punishment. ha. what about facts? don't they look at those? "

    Bookmark   June 5, 2009 at 2:50PM
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wild_thing

OMG! That is just sick! Well I can't wait to hear what the judge does with that info.

    Bookmark   June 5, 2009 at 3:11PM
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kkny

This entire situation is terrible. It seems to me the mom and her lawyer are playing the system. Hopeing you'll get tired, run out of money, etc.

    Bookmark   June 5, 2009 at 3:25PM
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lovehadley

It is about dragging it out and hoping we lose interest or run out of money.

It is sooooo expensive.

It annoys us to no end to have to keep shelling out money for crap like this. Honestly, if everyone would just do the right thing, try to abide by the Golden Rule and be responsible adults, then court would (rarely) be necessary.

The attorney called today and said she received a letter from the GAL, copied to both attornies, basically stating he is displeased with how the eval. went down, and he considers it useless.

He is dismissing the order of protection (for SS) which we expected. He is recommending that BM sign a statement saying she will not drink when he is with her, and that she will re-do eval. at her expense.

Well, off the bat, we know she will not sign the statement agreeing not to drink. Our attorney even said "if I were her attorney, I would not let her sign it." Basically, it sets BM up to fail and could certainly cause her to lose custody.

So--we will ask her to sign, but know she won't.

It all really comes down to the judge now. We really need our GAL to push this issue hardcore and MAKE BM repeat the eval. the right way. If he doesn't, or BM refuses, then it really will be up to the judge to decide.

Our attorney is talking about filing a motion to modify for supervised visits if she refuses to do the eval.

I hope it doesn't come down to that....that will be like doing another court case all over again, and our attorney said we would be looking at at least another 3-4K.

AUUGHHHH.

I am really just trying to let go and trust it will all work out at this point. Everything has in the past. The original custody/school district case was so expensive, and time consuming and we felt so frustrated for much of it---and what do you know, DH wound up getting residential custody! It all worked out in the end and hopefully this will, too!

    Bookmark   June 5, 2009 at 4:29PM
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liesbeth

Quote from FD:

"I wonder what those evaluations are based on. if they are only based on what the person says, then what is the whole point?"
"I thought that evidences and facts would be considered."

"It seems strange to me and something just doesn't add up. It is like determining if somebody commits a crime: client says they didn't commit it so we recommend no punishment. ha. what about facts? don't they look at those?"

It's incredible but they don't always look at those. I really hope that things will turn out ok for Love and her family, but my own experience with the system makes me less confident than all of you.
When 'our' BM was out fo control a couple of years ago (she really lost it there for awhile) we were not able to help the skids. BM was drunk a lot, neglected taking the skids to school maybe once or sometimes twice a week because of hangover, left them to feed and look after themselves, even literally by going out and leaving them home alone, without a phone so they could not contact anybody (us?). We rang CP in the end and reported it because we got pretty desperate.

CP rang BM and asked her some questions, then they concluded there was no reason for concern. Based on a phonecall to BM.

I know I've mentioned our own experience several times before, so sorry for repeating myself again, but I think it's a possibility that LoveHadley's BM is going to walk out of court like a winner, it does NOT make sense and IT IS very wrong, but I've seen it happen.

    Bookmark   June 5, 2009 at 11:40PM
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