non traditional wedding questions

kkbadJuly 6, 2009

A friend of mine from college just got married for the second time. She lives in Europe and the wedding ceremony was there. She and her new husband are traveling to the States to have a wedding reception with family and friends. It appears that the wedding will be outdoors and quite casual (on a lake and the map recommended we bring lawn chairs). The bride and groom are not registered anywhere that I know of and I cannot imagine that they want to ship gifts to Europe after they return home. Do we just give cash as a gift? If so, how much? I am not trying to be stingy, but this wedding is far outside the wedding etiquette that I am familiar with and I am at a loss.

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Since she is a college friend, would a donation in their names to your alma mater be appropriate?

    Bookmark   July 6, 2009 at 8:53PM
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I don't understand what your comment that "this wedding is far outside the wedding etiquette that I am familiar with" has to do with anything. Why would the circumstances of the wedding and reception (which really aren't so unusual anyway) make a difference in your choice of a gift? The gift is for the marriage, not for the wedding.

The only factors I can think of affecting your choice of a gift would be (1) the shipping to Europe, which is easy to accommodate by choosing something small and easy to pack (a little vase? a tablecloth?) and (2) perhaps that it is a second marriage, especially if you gave her gift for her first marriage.

If you decide to give cash, no one can tell you how much. Consider your resources and how close you are to the couple and decide what feels comfortable.

I like ashton's suggestion of a contribution to your alma mater in their honor.

    Bookmark   July 6, 2009 at 11:09PM
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p.s. -
You can also send any gift (or have the store or internet site send it) to their home. That's what guests are supposed to do anyway, not bring gifts to the wedding -- which is a security and transportation nuisance even for local couples. It will cost a bit more to send it to Europe, but the same principle applies.

    Bookmark   July 7, 2009 at 12:22PM
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