Drama with in laws bc of stepson

jack25June 27, 2013

I have a stepson that hates me. He's 11. Is it possible for an 11 year old to be so manipulative? He blatantly LIES to my in laws about me mistreating him. When I came into the picture he was 8.5 and had zero rules with my husband. When I say zero I'm not exaggerating. He peed the bed up until 4 months ago...I know this is sometimes a medical issue but he was allowed to stay up until 3am to play Xbox while eating and drinking all night. He slept in a pull up and would soak through it and nobody had a pls to help him. After myself making the rule of no food or drinks after 8:30. No pop and waking him up through the night to pee he has been pull up free for 4 months! A little effort and this could've happened years ago are my thoughts. My husband admits he's been a lazy parent and says he's ready to get on board to set boundaries but everytime his son lies about me or causes a fight...he says its his fault for spoiling him and that his son doesn't know how to deal with the new rules. We live in a small town, it has gotten around that I'm mean to this child. However my 13 year old stepson and I get along fine. He tells me that his little brother has always done this and that my hisnand has fought with his ex gf about this in the past. My 13 year okd ss takes up for me to my in laws which has probably kept things a little more peaceful. My husband knows his son lies...and I mean about everything. He's polite to my face but absolutely shows my husband zero respect. It's an argument for him to get him to listen to the simplest thing. Getting through dinner is a chore. How do we stop a child from lying? What boundaries do u set? It's not so innocent when its causing our entire family to be in turmoil. We don't even go to my husband's family get togethers bc of this. My husband treats him like he does no wrong. Yes he will scorn him for little things now which he didn't before but when it comes to confronting him about telling these lies he acts like his son isn't mature enough for the conversation. This is a highly intelligent boy I am talking about. He can have a conversation about anything but when he thinks he's in trouble he talks in this baby voice and immediately tears up at which my hisnand back peddles every time and let's him by with a stern voice. He's going on 12 and knows if he talks like a baby and says "daddy I didn't" then he's fine. My 13yo ss said it has always been this way!

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I think you'd better get out of there before you end up with criminal charges filed against you, & the whole family will chime in to 'support' the accuser;
you're the outsider already, & you'll be the scapegoat.

This is a deeply disfunctional, very disturbed family, & your husband not only enables it, he's very solidly a part of it.

You can't make it better, & it'll get much much worse.

I'm so sorry, & I wish you the best.

    Bookmark   June 29, 2013 at 9:08AM
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