Step Daughter Woes/Please help
My husband and I have been married 1 year. Prior to getting married, we dated for 5 years. 3 of those years I lived in the home with him and his children (prior to marriage). He has two children ages 11 and 13. I have two children - ages 14 and 16.
My issue is with his 11 year old daughter. She clearly is having bitter feelings about me - she regularly rants and raves about me and I hear her screaming "she's ruining EVERYTHING!" After one of these outbursts last month, I walked into her room and asked her why she was so angry. She said that if it wasn't for me, her parents could get back together (her parents divorced now for 9 years when she was only 2), that I monopolize all her fathers time; that he spends no time with her. That she hates me. Her father spends a lot of time with her as the bio mom is pretty much in and out of their lives. Last night she had another melt down when she saw my husband and i laying together watching a movie on the couch. Once the movie was over, my husband got up to go to bed and i continued to clean up the kitchen. By the time I got to my room, the step daughter was in the bed with him refusing to get out saying she was spending time with her dad now. It was 11 o clock at night and he told her it was a little late to decide she wanted to spend time with him. She screamed "all you care about is HER" (meaning me) and stomped out.
Last weekend my husband spent all weekend with her at a sports event. They go to her games together (I don't go), when they go shopping for her clothes, I stay home. They have taken vacations together (him, her and the son) while I stay home. I have no issues with him spending time with his kids. I have said for him to have a date night with her and her response to that is "I only get ONE night?!?"
What do I do with this? How do I address this? Help me! Husband always excuses behavior - she's tired, she's had a hard day, she will "grow out of it"; when I say she needs counseling he has a melt down.