Destination Wedding & Save the Date Cards

jadiesmomJuly 11, 2007

I need to make sure we are doing this right...here's my dilema...

My fiance and I are planning a wedding for November 2008 in Puerto Vallarta. We want to give everyone a far enough heads up so that those who want to attend can plan vacation leave, finances, passports, etc. accordingly. We are meeting with the travel agent at the end of the month to discuss the arrangements.

After reading the other posts regarding destination weddings and the save the date cards, I am thinking it would be best to send out the save the date cards with our names, date and location and maybe include the travel agents information as well. Is this right?

Then we would send out the regular invitations six weeks before the actual wedding right?

The family members we have told said that they would go or be more willing to go if they had at least a year's time to save and pay off the trip without it interupting their regular finances - which we can totally understand. So our thinking is to get the information out to people in August - September of this year.

What do you guys think? Thanks for your imput!

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talley_sue_nyc

That's the normal plan nowadays (save-the-dates are a recent invention).

Although, even if you don't have a final date, and a venue, etc., you could also simply write a short note to all the family members, and tell them that you're planning to get married there, and a basic time frame. Then send more exact details later when you get them. You needn't wait until you have the travel info, etc.

That's how it used to be done, before mass marketing got all involved in the details of the wedding.

I would send invites eight weeks in advance for a wedding in which very many people had to travel very far.

Never send a save-the-date to someone you aren't POSITIVE you will invite to the wedding itself. And even if someone says to you, "Oh, I don't think I'll come," you should send them an invitation to the wedding itself.

(personally, I don't love save-the-dates. They are an invitation, sort of. Which bothers me and creates problems (for example, if someone responds to the save-the-date, they might think you're fishing for a gift if you invite them, even though it would be rude NOT to send an invite).

I much prefer the vaguer, less mass-produced personal notes,phone calls, and even e-mail (which is an acceptable substitute in many circles for a personal note by mail) which are the time-honored way of letting people know about events like this.

    Bookmark   July 11, 2007 at 6:28PM
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jadiesmom

Thanks Tally Sue!
I was thinking about it this morning, and I think instead of a "save the date" postcard - we will just send out personal letters to everyone announcing our date and some information regarding the trip. I think it's the ones you least expect to go who will go. Our guest list will remain the same for the announcement letters and actual wedding invites.

After reading the posts about destination weddings, I have been convinced that we will need to have a cocktail reception when we come back just to make sure that everyone feels included in our special event.

I already know some of my family members won't be able to make the trip. My dad already told me he would not go and to count him out. Hopefully he will change his mind, considering he is the only parent I have.

I appreciate all of your comments and suggestions. I'm sure this will be the first of many more posts! Thanks for your help!

    Bookmark   July 12, 2007 at 9:47AM
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talley_sue_nyc

My dad already told me he would not go and to count him out. Hopefully he will change his mind, considering he is the only parent I have.

This would be the thing that made me change my venue, were I in your situation--I'd really want to get married where my dad could attend. Or, I'd try to save up so I could pay his fare (or part of it, even--whatever it would take to get him there).

That's one thing that the personal letters can do--they can help you float a "trial balloon." If you hear back that so many people think they won't come, or that some particularly important people can't be there, and that is bothering you, you could then change your plans easily. A save-the-date seems so very official, that I think people would think they had no hope of influencing you, and you yourself might feel locked in.

You may already feel very solid w/ your decision to marry in Puerto Vallarta; I don't mean to imply that you shouldn't.

But there is a cost w/ destination weddings that has nothing to do with money, and you want to be sure you're ready to pay that cost. Or to feel that you're free to "economize" by changing your plans to avoid some of those costs.

Of course, every wedding is a destination wedding for *someone.* You'll have to decide what works best for you two, and your family, etc.

    Bookmark   July 12, 2007 at 1:49PM
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