Honestly, if I knew I would not have done it.
I am 5 years into a new marriage that seems to be crumbling. Before entering into this marriage both of us witnessed clear signs of what was to come from the exes and the children. But, we were both adults and felt that we could work around these issues. Needless to say that did not happen.
As I read the various postings here I see so much of the same stuff that people put people through and impose upon their children. The anger and resentment demonstrated and acted out are sad and scary. Many of the things I thought we cold sort and live with are repeated here routinely. I remember taking a long walk one day trying to decide how to react to her rather brazen boys and her near pathologic Ex weighing whether I should accept the challenge. I chose to accept it. Had I read these posts then I would not have done so quite so blithely.
I guess my message is to work diligently to unwind the manipulations placed upon yourselves and families regardless of their source. If you don't they will rot your spousal relationships You must protect your own psyche. I hate to say this but try to keep from investing your entire heart into the deal.