About expenses for distant wedding

JamessonJJuly 20, 2013

My best friend asked me to be best man at his wedding and I immediately replied yes, as I wanted to be there.

After looking into it, the wedding is far away, and the total cost is over $1500 for me for plane tickets and hotel, which I can't afford. I told him that, but he offered to pay for some of it, which I was a little uncomfortable with. But, he wanted me to go there.

What should I do in this situation?

This post was edited by JamessonJ on Sat, Jul 20, 13 at 8:52

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Karen10125

He wants you as his best man and if he's willing to pay for some of your expenses, that's great, let him do that. He had a choice of saying he understood you couldn't afford it and picking someone else for his best man. He didn't do that, he wants you to attend. When a couple decides to do a destination wedding, they need to understand that everyone can't afford it. I just went thru this with my daughter. So do what you can as far as paying your way, but allow him to help if necessary.

    Bookmark   July 23, 2013 at 6:26AM
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camlan

Well, this may not be a destination wedding. The happy couple could simply be marrying in the home town of one of them, which just happens to be a long way away from where JamessonJ lives. It's fairly common for a wedding to be in the town the brides' parents live in--and that could be anywhere, but it doesn't make the wedding a destination wedding.

JamessonJ--it's not just the wedding expenses. Will there be a bachelor party? Will that be a one-night thing or a weekend trip to Vegas? What other expenses will you have--renting a tux, wedding gift, shower gift (if the couple has a couples' shower)? It's worse for bridesmaids, with all the showers and having to buy the dress and shoes, but the men in the wedding party still have some expenses.

And you'll probably have to buy your own meals while you are at the wedding destination, except for the rehearsal dinner and food at the reception. Plus, you may need to take time off from work--that's another expense, because you then can't use those vacation days for a trip someplace you want to go.

There's no shame in telling the groom that you are honored by the fact that he asked you, but that you simply can't afford to attend his wedding, given the distance and the cost of flights and accommodations.

    Bookmark   July 23, 2013 at 8:43PM
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Sybilix

Unnecessary....i think

    Bookmark   August 7, 2013 at 9:49PM
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