Ima...

justmetooJune 2, 2012

I'm thinking of you this morning upon reading your post in the other thread.

I don't really know what to say other than I wish you all the best and am sending thoughts and prayers your way in what must be a very difficult decision for you. May you find peace and happiness in your life and future.

Hugs...jmt

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imamommy

Thanks JMT.

It was a long process of making excuses because STBeXDH has so many great qualities. I didn't want to admit I made a mistake in my choice of a husband. I didn't want to face the reality that I have known for a long time. The final realization came last week when SD told on me (because I told her not to do something) and of course she twisted what I said & instead of trying to talk to me or ask me, he "confronted" me... and the light bulb went off that now I am defending myself to him over something that was trivial. I've had enough. It's my home & he forced my kids out (not really against my wishes because they are adults & need to be on their own, but he forced the issue & even had his brother serve my son an eviction notice) but then to side up with STBeXSD & put me on the defensive in my own home when he knows she lies all the time, made me realize that is not what a marriage is & he isn't going to change. I am actually at peace with it already & look forward to having my life back.

Unfortunately, his parents don't seem to want him back. I assumed he would move in with them until he could find a place but he is still living in my house for this week. He says he found a room mate & is moving out next weekend. SD is there this weekend & I suggested to him that he might give her some boxes to pack up her room so when he moves out next weekend, it will be easier. She goes to her mom for the summer tomorrow (Sunday) and will be gone all week. He gets her again next weekend & I assumed he'd take her to wherever he is moving to. Well, last night he told me that he & his friend (a guy he works with that is going through a divorce & currently lives with his parents) haven't actually found a place but they are looking. He told me she will be back in her room next weekend so he doesn't want to pack it up. I'm trying to be the bigger person here & he's making it easy. He is being petty... asking me to replace fuel in the Jaguar (that he is keeping) because I drove it last week. Asking me to continue to make the payment because he can't take me off the health insurance until open enrollment (which is before the divorce will be final)... and he's doing what he does best, nit picking. I've agreed to everything, I just want him to leave & take his child with him. The thought of her coming back next weekend (even to help him move) stresses me out. She has what she thinks she wants... she won, or so she thinks. I know that I am the winner because I won't have to deal with this anymore. But push may come to shove if he tries to bring her back here next week! and if he tries to linger more than a week.

    Bookmark   June 2, 2012 at 5:37PM
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ceph

I'll be thinking of you too, Ima.
I'm not on this board as much as I was, but will you think I'm a big creepazoid if I want to be your Facebook friend?

    Bookmark   June 2, 2012 at 11:40PM
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sylviatexas1

"Unfortunately, his parents don't seem to want him back."

That's pretty revealing!

I'm glad you're getting your life back.

A friend just went through something with her husband, not the same particulars, but similar in that, unbeknownst to her, he was playing an end game.

He knew it was just a matter of time & he knew he couldn't "win", so he extracted everything he could in the meanwhile, just for the pleasure of wringing her dry & making a fool of her.

I hate to see someone else trying to act in good faith, trying to accomodate a person who seems bent on using her own good faith & graciousness against her.

I my own self would be tempted to set everything out on the porch & change the locks.

I wish you the best.

    Bookmark   June 3, 2012 at 3:36PM
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imamommy

Ceph, if you send me an email to the address on my GW profile, I'll send you a friend request.

    Bookmark   June 3, 2012 at 11:05PM
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