Ex-wife is coming back?
My husband and I have been married for 15 years. His ex wife had an affair with her co-worder 17 years ago and moved out leaving 3 children (11, 15 & 17 then)and has been living with the same guy. At the time of the divorce, she took a half of my husband's asset and 2 years of alimony ($2,500 per month). My husband and I have raised the children while the ex was not involved in the children's life at all. She attended 2 weddings, but missed births of her 2 grandchildren.
Relationship between the ex and I has been almost none. When I was raising her children, I had to communicate with her basically to keep her in the know. However, she avoided to be involved in anything negative/problematic. After the children are all grown up and educated, she spread lies amoung her side of family that I was the cause of their divorce! (I did not even know my husband when she moved out with her boyfriend.)
Since last fall, we started to hear that the ex and her boyfriend were not getting along very well. They are basically separate under the same roof. (Of course, her family says that the guy is crazy and she is a victim.) Then, she visited her son's family over last Christmas for the first time and sent HER pictures (changed to a new blonde hair-do from greyish brunette) to my husband via e-mail.
Recently, the ex's brother invited my husband over dinner. (My husband happened to be in the town on business.) All my husband had to hear was how miserable his sister's (ex) life had been. After all, the brother insisted that my husband should come back and visit whenever he is in town.
Last week, the ex sent her olderst daughter an e-mail to pass the message to my husband. The topic was that she had heard that my husband's old neighbour was selling their farms. The strange thing was that the ex did not even know the neighbours at all. My husband left the farming town when he was 17 years old!
My husband has not acknowledged her e-mails so far. He has not visited the ex-brother's house since then. He says that he does not have any bitter feeling toward the ex any more and that he has made peace in his mind. After all, the ex is the mother to his 3 children.
I do not want her back in the picture of our marrige. Now that all children are doing well in society, we do not have anything to discuss with her. She might as well try hard to communicate with her children and grandchildren more than with my husband. Am I over reacting?
Another thought. We heard that the only reason the ex does not leave the boyfriend was that she would have difficulty getting anything from him. He has his own shady business going and nothing has her name on her. Can she still be after our money? She did not pay a penny in raising the children. In the mean time, I paid for the youngest daughter's private high school and even the legal fees when she was in trouble. What do you think?