Help! Small Family Wedding

smile3June 14, 2004

I need help with ideas for my wedding.

I am having a small informal wedding in my parents back yard with family only about 50 people (or less). He will only have about 5 family members the rest will be my family. We are planning to have the dinner before the wedding so we can have an outdoor evening ceremony. Sorry for the broken comments I am 5 months pregnant and can't think straight (I will be 8 months for the wedding)

OK now some questions:

What do I do instead of the tosses? I thought about the longest married couple but we all know this is my gandparents so I think that would be just as bad as the tosses.

Do we do the wedding cake before or after the wedding?

Do we still have our first dance after the wedding even though we won't be having a reception?

I read about a glass rod ceremony during the wedding where the glass rod represents the marrige solid but fragile does anyone know where I can find a ceremony for this?

I would love to hear any other ideas you have for me, thank you in advance.

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I'd do the wedding cake after the ceremony. Give people time to digest their dinner.

If you are going to have dancing after the ceremony, then go ahead and have a first dance; if you aren't having dancing otherwise, you can certainly skip it. At eight months pregnant, you might not feel much like dancing, especially after standing for pictures, the ceremony, cake cutting, etc.

You can skip the bouquet, and with family only, definitely skip the garter. You don't have to substitute anything. I gave my bouquet to my grandma, not in a big production, but just gave it to her privately before she left. You could give it to your mother or your mother-in-law too. You can ask your florist to make a bouquet that breaks into two parts so you can give it to two people.

    Bookmark   June 14, 2004 at 3:28PM
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Definately cake after the ceremony...
Don't have a dance if you don't want to, but if you do want one, I would either have the ceremony, and then at the end have your kiss, and have the music start right then, as the end of the ceremony.... or have it at the end of the cake/while people eat the cake.

I'm not having tosses... and I think I'm keeping my bouquet... no single women there anyway. maybe I'll give it to someone. (do you think it's bad luck to keep it?) heh.

It's your ceremony. YOURS. do what you want to do! and have fun!

    Bookmark   June 14, 2004 at 9:10PM
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My small family wedding is going to be just that - small and immediate family only, in my future in-laws back yard. Mine will be smaller than yours though - 12 people, tops, including the officient. ;-) Mine is casual, wedding at 11am, lunch after for the attendees, and that's it, no reception or anything either - very laid back and relaxed.

Personally, I think I'd get the wedding over with first, and then do a late dinner and cake. Then there wouldn't be a "break" in the festivities, and you won't have to "switch gears" from dinner to getting married. Were you going to have a dance afterwards anyways? If not, then don't worry about it, just leave it out. If so, then by all means, have your first dance. I would definately forgo the tosses and don't need replacements, just leave them out.

You're going to be very pregnant - I really think I'd make things as simple as possible for yourself, and just leave out the things that don't seem to have a place. Going with your original plan, just have your dinner, get married, then have cake, and dismiss everyone - you are going to be *exhausted* by then anyways even just with that few things, and you need to take care of yourself. :-)

One thing you *should* do though is send announcements out afterwards to all who weren't invited...that's what I'm going to do to "smooth over" some ruffled feathers (people who aren't invited) and inform people of new names, addresses, phone numbers, etc...

Good luck - I'm sure it will all turn out just lovely. :-)

    Bookmark   June 15, 2004 at 11:48AM
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We are planning a large stag and doe party soon for all of our friends that way we can just enjoy the party.

    Bookmark   June 15, 2004 at 11:58AM
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An evening ceremony sounds wonderful!! And very interesting to get the dinner out of the way before the ceremony. My thoughts might be to have the dinner, digest a bit, then have the ceremony. Immediately after that I would have a whole group toast and then mingle around to be congratulated. Then I would cut the cake, and while people are eating play one song from a CD player that would be your "first dance", then leave on some mellow music for background atmosphere. (even though you are pregrant you will still be beautiful and radiant, it is still YOUR wedding day so if you would want a first dance I think it would be symbolic) Then in this situation I would toss the bouquet(even though I hate the bouquet toss myself) and begin saying good byes to leave on that note.
Just some ideas, I think just with the evening ceremony it will be beautiful!

    Bookmark   June 19, 2004 at 11:19AM
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I wouldn't toss the bouquet. I don't like that custom anyway, and in a reception with mostly family, there are probably few single people to put on display. I'd make a little fuss of giving it (or a substitute, if you want to save the original) to your grandparents.

It sounds nice to have the ceremony after dinner, but I think the ceremony will be sort of a signal to leave if it's held that late. Personally, I'd have drinks/appetizers, the wedding ceremony, then the dinner, then give the bouquet to your grandparents and thank everyone for coming.

    Bookmark   June 19, 2004 at 5:04PM
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Most of the guests will be staying the night at my parents so guests leaving shouldn't be a problem.

    Bookmark   June 23, 2004 at 6:40PM
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