I feel like giving up
So it is has been a while since I have been to this forum, over a year and a half. I now have two bio-children and may be pregnant now.
The real trouble started when I found out I was pregnant two summers ago, that is when SD mother started to really be controlling. For two years I was able to pick up SD by myself on Thursday afternoons, and bring her home when DS was napping on Sunday afternoons. But recently, with in the last year or so, a bug crawled up her ass and now it is NOT okay for me to do this. Instead, we have to load two other children (DS4 and DD1) into the hot van (no AC) on 90 degree days and drive 45 minutes north to pick up the entitled pretty pretty princess, and 45 minutes back home.
Then her mother calls here 3 times a day and drill SD6 over what I have been doing and what I said, then the usual... what did you eat, who did you talk to, where are you going, where did you go, what time did you get up, what time will you be home on Sunday?...
SD6 said that her mom calls her all the time when her mother is at work, especially when she just gets into the door from school and when she is just sitting down to eat. Se offered this to me when her mom called when we were eating - no coaxing - she offered me the information and I listened.
I told DBF this and I feel she is looking for relief from being smothered from her mother all the time. He basically told me not to worry about her and we will let SD6 make the decision weather or not to talk to her mother (not so nicely though.) Personally I think SD feels like she will be letting down her mother if she don't talk to her.... Kind of like the weekend SD6 cried the whole time she was here, we had no idea why, she even stopped calling my mother Grandma, and my sister Auntie, and she would hardly even look at me. A couple of days later DBF was talking to SD6's mother and she told him about the talk the she and SD had of how the mother/daughter relationship is sacred and needs to be kept between them, and how it is not okay to call my mom grandma....
I am so frustrated and have a really hard time having a relationship with SD6. I truly, from the bottom of my heart, love this child and want the best for her, but get resistance from her father and mother. Honestly, I feel like giving up. And when he tells me to back the @#$% off, I feel hurt and don't want the pain anymore.
And to think DBF wants me to drive up there and get her on Thursday and watch her Friday and Saturday when he is at work...... really I feel like not doing it....please help me!