Ceremony questions and ideas NEEDED!!

springbride04May 10, 2004

Well it's down to the last few little details of the ceremony to be decided!!!

We are having a simple "country" wedding--casual!! We are expecting about 100 people.

What songs are good to be played:

as the GUESTS are being seated?? I have read that you should start these songs about 20-30 minutes prior to the start of the ceremony.

Special Family/Friends?? My fiance doesn't have a lot of family coming in for the wedding because they live about 10 hours from where the wedding is. Do we sit those friends of his mother's and family that are coming in the first couple of rows at the church?? If you include these people, there will be approximately 10 couples (between the two of us) that will be seated in the first couple of pews. How long should the song(s) be so that we have enough time to get everyone seated??

Grandparents?? Between the two of us, we will have 4 sets of grandparents that will be seated. I have read that step-grandmothers are seated first and are seated BEHIND the grandmothers. Has anyone else heard of this before?? How long should you give to get everyone seated??

Mothers?? My fiance's mother will be escorted down by her husband and will remain standing until my mother is escorted down by my brother. The mothers together will then light the two family candles next to the unity candle. They will then walk back to their pews and sit. How long should it take for each of them to walk in and light the candles??

We were thinking of now having the candle lighter light the candleabras. Is this a good place to have him light the candles or should it be done earlier?? What is a good song and how long should it take??

The preacher, groom and GM will now enter.

Entrance of the BM?? The BMs will walk down alone. We have 2 BM and the MOH. What are songs for them to walk down to and how long should it be??

Entrance of the RB?? Should this song be the same as the one for the BM??

Entrance of the FG?? Should this too be the same some as the one for the BM??

Entrance of the Bride??

Leaving of the Bride and Groom??

During the ceremony, we are using Penny's Idea of the reading. We are having My fiance's sister, a BM, read the part about his hands to me and then my brother, a GM, is going to read the part about my hands to my fiance. He is then going to say "we now ask that you unite our two families by lighting the unity candle." I thought this would be a really nice thing to do instead of playing a long song and having our guests get board. The preacher will then say a prayer like the one that was in Penny's reading. Should we play a song any other time throughout the ceremony??

Thank you everyone for all of your help!!!


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The same song can be played for when the guests, mothers and grandparents are sat. The same processional can be played for when the BMs, RB and FG come in. We actually had the same processional played for the BMs, RB, FG and me (the Bride). We had a live organist who just played a flourish after the bridal party had entered and were standing at the front and played the opening louder and more stately when I entered. We were told the less songs the better - you would have to change out the music so often if you had a different song for the BM, RB, FG, and Bride that it would sound a little strange, same with having too much music changes while everyone is being seated.

Do you want a more traditional wedding, even though it is a country wedding? It is helpful to know if you want to the mood to be more light hearted and fun or more serious and traditional, that way we can suggest some more appropriate music for you!

    Bookmark   May 10, 2004 at 2:13PM
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Are you having musicians, or recorded music? If you will have professional musicians, I would ask them about this. They know their own repertoire, they know how many songs they will need for a wedding processional, etc. They will have good suggestions and good information for you.

    Bookmark   May 10, 2004 at 3:40PM
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I agree about asking your music people about what they recommend. Also, if you are getting married in a church, ask if there are any restrictions on the music which the church will make. I think too you are expecting entrances and such to take longer than they will. So you won't need all that many songs.

General seating - determine about how many pews it will take to seat the groom's people, and how many the bride's. Divide that by two. The first rows of the groom's side ought to have groom's people. Then fill in the remaining with bride's. Or, don't worry about which side is which and just seat most people wherever. All in all it is dreary to see half the pews filled with the other half empty.

Your proposed seating plan for grandmothers and step-grandmothers seems awkward at best. If it seems like it will work, great, but it probably wouldn't be my first instinct.

I'd have candleabras lit well before the family candles. Candleabras are just set decoration, while family candles are symbolic and should be lit closer to the ceremony.

    Bookmark   May 10, 2004 at 5:01PM
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Here's a very helpful music site:

You can hear sound clips and suggestions for songs at various times of the ceremony and reception!

As for music while seating guests, pick a few and play them as long as it takes to seat people...then play out the last song and stop. Simple. Actually, play a single piece and that should be sufficient...too many changes just gets to be tooo much.

As for seating, I agree with the others, including the seating of the Grandmothers. Seating one behind the other just seems disrespectful somehow....I'd treat them as equals and let them sit together and enjoy each other's company.

As for other 'rules', this is your wedding and as you didn't mention Miss Manners attending it, you should do as you and your family darn well please. There will be no wedding police present...;-)

Relax and enjoy! Your ceremony sounds lovely!

    Bookmark   May 10, 2004 at 7:38PM
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Well thank you everyone!! I totally agree now that I think about it, I think we will play the same song for seating the "special family, grandparents, and mothers." I don't think there is any possible way to seat the grandmother and step-grandmother together.....DO NOT get along!!!

But thank you everyone!!


    Bookmark   May 14, 2004 at 10:48AM
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