bridal luncheon help

mollyellieMay 10, 2009

Aunts of the bride and groom want to host a luncheon on the day of the wedding. They are calling it a bridal luncheon. My research shows the bride should host the luncheon to honor the bridesmaids or the bridesmaids host honoring the bride. The bride is giving her gifts at the rehersal dinner and is also giving a pedicure the day prior to the rehersal to her bridesmaids. Is it inappropriate for the aunts to host the luncheon on the day of the wedding and call it a "bridal luncheon"? Should the bride or mother of the bride offer to pay for the luncheon?

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The only problem I can see is the scheduling of the luncheon the same day as the wedding; unless the wedding is very small and simple, it seems inconvenient.

I see no reason the mothers should offer to pay. Let the aunts be generous if that's what they wanted to do.

I also don't see why it would be inappropriate to call it a "bridal luncheon."

I don't know what research led you to the conclusion that the bride should host "the" luncheon to honor her bridesmaids. I've never heard of that. If she wants to give a party for her bridesmaids, that's lovely, but there's no rule about it. Pedicures and gifts are irrelevant.

It sounds like someone is trying to make trouble.

    Bookmark   May 11, 2009 at 12:47AM
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I agree with Gellchom. I think it is very generous of the aunts to desire to host a luncheon for the bride and groom. However, I would not have it the day of the wedding; that is adding another item to an already busy day. The bride will be having her hair done and possibly other appointments that day. To add a luncheon would make everything rushed. It would be much more convenient to do it a day or two before the wedding or even the week before, since the rehearsal dinner will probably be the night before and that might be a bit much in one day.

The tradition of having a bridal luncheon, more commonly called a bridesmaids' luncheon, hosted by the bride for her attendants has largely gone by the wayside because of distance, timing, etc. The luncheons are still held in conjunction with very formal weddings, particularly in the South. They usually occur a week or more before the wedding.

    Bookmark   May 11, 2009 at 1:04AM
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Extended family from both sides want to get together to host a lunch? I wouldn't want to discourage that for anything. The only reason to not call it a bridal luncheon would be if the groom and groomsmen will be in attendance. The guys might get a little twitchy if they thought it would be all tea and cakes and pink ribbon. Other than that, they could call it an 'octopus' for all that the title of the event would really matter.

Although the day of the wedding will be busy, having a special lunch might be a really good idea. If you can set aside an hour or so for (forced) relaxation, good nutritial food and a bit of time to digest it, I think you will have given yourself far more than any hour of running around would do. If the idea is a three hour festive affair, it wouldn't be nearly so good. However, there is a lot to be said for a little down time mid day to really keep you going for the end of the day.

    Bookmark   May 11, 2009 at 7:44AM
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If the aunts really want to have the event on the wedding day, might they consider hosting a brunch instead of lunch? Assuming the wedding is in the evening, that would free up time for the bride and wedding party.

    Bookmark   May 12, 2009 at 11:32PM
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mollyellie - Your situation is perfectly acceptable! What's not acceptable is for a relative to host a shower.

Being from the south, and where I am from, it is tradition to have the bridal luncheon on the day of the wedding. It is a time to honor the bridesmaids, provide both bridesmaids and the bride nutrition, and just relax before the festivities of the evening begin. Almost thirty years ago, the mother of one of my bridesmaids hosted the luncheon the day of my wedding. The same for my mother 60 years ago!

Now, having said the above, I must point out that weddings were not made to be so fussy back then. We girls didn't go "all out" to have our hair specially fixed, make-up applied, nails done, etc.. We did all this at home, with the help of our maid of honor, or family members. We simply had more time before the "big event."

IMO, today's weddings have really gotten out of hand! Do you want to know what I gave my bridesmaids for a gift? I cross stitched small flowers, along with the bridesmaids names, and framed them as place cards for the table. To date, my own daughter has spent over $100 on each of her eight bridesmaids. I think it is ridiculous, but she says everyone does it. :rolleyes: For the last wedding she was in, the brides family paid for all the bridesmaids dresses and shoes. Very generous!

Anyway, my sister, and sister-in-law are hosting my daughters bridal "function" on the day of the wedding. I say function, because (as suggested above) it will actually be a breakfast from 9:00 -11:00, at our local country club. Afterward, the girls will rush from hair dresser, to make-up artist, to nail salons, and then have to be at the church by 5;00, for photos and a 6:00 wedding.

The bridal breakfast has to be on the day of the wedding because 5 of the 8 bridesmaids, live anywhere from 4-18 hours away. These girls are all professionals, and cannot take off work any sooner than Friday afternoon, nor do they want to travel all the way for another weekend that close before the wedding. They are already coming in for a party or two during the summer. The girls will all arrive just in time for the wedding rehearsal and party on Friday evening. Addtionally, my sister and SIL have daughters (who will be part of the wedding, but not bridesmaids) that will be into their first month in a college that is 6 hours away. The girls couldn't possibly skip classes for more than a day. Therefore, the brunch most be the morning of the wedding.

    Bookmark   May 13, 2009 at 10:03AM
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I would think the luncheon would be wonderful for any guests who have already arrived on the wedding day. But I wouldn't expect or ask the bridal party to attend as they will be quite busy. Even the parents may be too busy. I know that was the case for our daughter's evening wedding. As newhome says, today's weddings are quite elaborate in preparation too.

Now, maybe the day before would be a better time. It could be an activity for everyone and then the bridal party can excuse themselves and have a rehearsal at some time and get their pedicures also.

I like the idea, but you would have to know the situation. How many live locally, would be in town, would be available? Our bridesmaids spent the whole day getting hair dos and make up done by the people we hired. I had no idea it would take that long, but it did.

    Bookmark   May 13, 2009 at 5:45PM
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I have been really firm about the make-up and hair thing. I have told my daughter to worry about herself, and her maid-of-honor (her sister) only. Everyone else is on their own. It's just too confusing to have everyone together and having their hair and make-up done together. Plus, I don't think the hairdresser and make-up artist would give the bride the undivided attention that she needs.

My daughters have their own hairdresser, and I have another for me alone.

    Bookmark   May 13, 2009 at 11:01PM
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Really, what 'rules' there are are really not to be concerned about. Do whatever YOU want to do, or, in this case, what bride and groom want.

I guess time is a factor, but to have it on a separate day might not suit everyone. Maybe breakfast is a good way to do it.

    Bookmark   May 14, 2009 at 2:55PM
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