What takes place during a Shower?

airforceguyMay 26, 2004

Hello. My wife and I are getting married this upcoming Sept. Her friends are throwing her a shower. She has never attended a shower and is wondering what takes place, whats the proper etiquette. Are official invites suppose to be sent out? or are emails fine? 3 of her friends are organizing it, but they are not exactly sure neither, as they have never attended one! What kind of atmosphere is expected? Any info would be greatly appreciated. We have used lots of info from this site in preparing for our wedding. Thanks in advance. Scott

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The signature activity at a shower is opening the presents the bride is "showered" with. So, at some point, the guests will need to circle around to watch her open the gifts. Around here, showers are typically daytime events. Refreshments might be cake and coffee or lunch or other day time kind of thing. The atmosphere could be quite lady-like or fairly casual. But don't confuse it with a bachlorette party.

Sometimes silly wedding shower games are played. Guests might create wedding dresses out of toilet paper, play a trivia game with a wedding theme, or they might play bingo using b-r-i-d-e as the letters. If these types of games sound like fun, go for it. If they sound too corny for your taste, forget them.

I'd say, use real invitations. They don't have to be expensive ones. Get some at the drug store or even make them up on a computer. Invitations are SO much fun to recieve that your guests are likely to really appreciate them. The invitations would also help clue the guests into how formal the shower is likely to be.

    Bookmark   May 26, 2004 at 5:08PM
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Not much more to add than what Duckie has already said, except PLEASE don't invite any ladies who will not be invited to the wedding! I've heard of this happening and it boggles my mind. The shower invitations usually go out after the wedding invitations. Basically, it's a time for the bridesmaids to gather friends, relatives together to meet and socialize and get to know each other (sometimes it's the first meeting of some family members). It can be as formal or as informal as you wish it to be...there are many good sites on here: just "Google" something like "bridal showers" or "bridal shower games" and you'll get lots of information. Sometimes, in lieu of a gift, some prefer to 'donate' towards a larger gift for the bride, something perhaps that she needs...this is wrapped and a card is signed by all the ladies who donated towards it. Others offer individual gifts. Of course, Thank You cards are sent out by the bride following the shower. These can be held in someone's home, or a hall or restaurant, and can be tea and cakes, or punch and lunch! Hope that helps! Whatever else, relax and enjoy!

    Bookmark   May 26, 2004 at 6:44PM
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As mentioned above, only ladies who will be invited to the wedding should be invited to a shower. A shower is for close family and friends and it isn't usually a very large group. It doesn't have to be an expensive event for the hostesses. As mentioned, it can be held at a home, a church hall, or another location. The purpose is to have fun (clean fun) while celebrating with the bride.

    Bookmark   May 26, 2004 at 10:07PM
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It doesn't have to be just for the bride or limited to only women guests, either. Sometimes the group -- say, the friends from work -- are both men and women. Maybe that wouldn't be the best group for a lingerie shower! But I wouldn't exclude the bride's best friend even from a shower for a bride, as opposed to a shower for the couple, because he happens to be a guy.

Also, please please don't give something called a "shower" and then don't open the gifts at the event.

    Bookmark   May 27, 2004 at 2:33PM
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