Gift from Parent Question

pixie15May 30, 2008

Hi....

Looking for ideas for a wedding gift for my son and daughter in law to be. My husband and I are hosting the rehearsal dinner and the Sunday Brunch along with paying for half of the flowers and photos. What would be an appropriate gift to give the newly married couple? Thanks for any suggestions.

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duckie

I think the best gift from parents is a family heirloom. It doesn't need to be particularly valuable or grand. Being entrusted with heirlooms is in some ways to be entrusted with the family history. That is a good way to start out. If that seems too wimpy, add a check. But I would consider the sentimental gift to be the 'real' one.

    Bookmark   May 30, 2008 at 4:30PM
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pixie15

Thanks Duckie...

I wish I had a family heirloom but that does not exist. I have put together a CD with many childhood pictures of my son as he grew up......thought it would be nice to have for history. But I still need something for the both of them. I too am looking for a sentimental gift...something that the two would remember the ocassion but not like a jar with the wedding date, if you know what I mean.

What have others given for wedding gifts to son or daughters?

    Bookmark   May 30, 2008 at 10:12PM
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talley_sue_nyc

My mom gave me the black lacquer chargers I was mooning after--a set of 12.

And she put up w/ me during all the moaning.

My ILs are much more well-off. My MIL wanted to give me a suite of bedroom furniture; I had to work hard to convince her that, not only do I *have* furniture (including Great Grandma Adams's chester drawers), but that I don't *like* matching furniture.

So she gave me my complete china set.

But they spend a lot of money!

Is there something you can give them that will *become* an heirloom?

Once, I wanted to give a friend some china from her registry, but I didn't want it to be "just another place setting"; I wanted to increase the chances she'd think if me, so i bought her a specialized serving dish (the platter, I think; or the 'covered vegetable dish' would accomplish the same thing)

Or, can you spark off of the registry? It'll tell you what their tastes are (color & style of china, if nothing else).

    Bookmark   May 31, 2008 at 11:26PM
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gellchom

It's hard to give ideas for something to buy without knowing your budget (and I am NOT asking).

I think it might be nice to give them something you received for a gift at your own wedding, or, if there is nothing appropriate, something your family has used for your son's whole life. Is there a platter, a pitcher, a bowl, a pair of candlesticks -- maybe silver or crystal -- or a tablecloth and napkins, a special birthday plate, something handmade, a holiday item, even a rug or a piece of furniture with a story to it? Best of all if it is something you have used over the years at holidays and special occasions. I think that's what Talley Sue might mean by something "that will *become* an heirloom." If your son and his bride are wise, they will understand the symbolism of handing down a bit of the center of the family.

Congratulations to you!

    Bookmark   June 2, 2008 at 4:14PM
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talley_sue_nyc

Well, actually, I was thinking of a new item that would become the platter, birthday plate, or whatever, that THEY would use over and over.

Like, maybe a really nice, well balanced, beautiful glass pitcher for water/lemonade (try it out full of water, before you buy, to be sure it's really comfortable to use; we were given two, and one was crystal and SO heavy to lift, plus tippy bcs the bottom was too tiny; the other is still in use often, and will be until I die). The secret is that it's beautiful AND it's really comfortable to use.

I know that the aunt who bought it for me paid attention to the sleek, contemporary choices I'd made on my registry, and did NOT buy me a floral, ornate cut-crystal one, which wouldn't have struck such a chord for me.

I'd say crystal is probably OK, lead-wise, for a water pitcher, but I know I stopped using crystal for anything when i was pregnant, and when my kids were little. I don't worry about it so much (though I wouldn't store wine or serve lemonade in a crystal pitcher)

But i like gellchom's idea of passing on something that's sort of an heirloom to you folks now; my mom gave me the depression-glass plate we always used for cakes, and I'm so pleased to have it.

A cake plate might the another sort of thing that would get used on special occasions. (Maybe not, for some folks, though)

But any lovely serving dish will get used a lot.

Here is a link that might be useful: a really great cross-section of water pitchers

    Bookmark   June 2, 2008 at 5:14PM
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scarlett2001

"Chester drawers"??? Got it from Craigslist, did you?

    Bookmark   June 6, 2008 at 1:04PM
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sheilajoyce_gw

My DDs in-laws gave them their honeymoon. The 4 of them discussed locations, the couple decided where they liked the most, and the honeymoon was the gift. I understand many grooms' parents give the honeymoon as a gift these days, when it is within their budgets.

I do like the idea of a family heirloom, but I would hate to think of a valued family item being lost to your family in a divorce some day.

I like the idea of maybe making the gift the good china, IF the bride wants a set of good china.

    Bookmark   June 12, 2008 at 10:36PM
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