Happy Father's Day fiasco
SD is on Summer vacation. DH gets the 1st three weekends during summer when SD is with BM. Last weekend, SD wanted to stay & go with BM because a friend of theirs rented a house boat for the weekend. Fine. DH let her because she was excited & wanted to go.. it's summer & he said he'd like to make up the weekend on the last weekend of the month. Apparently, they are going to be spending that weekend on the house boat too... so he was told no. He still let her go but said he wanted to see her on Father's day weekend.
So, SD came this weekend. My older sister was planning to cook a dinner for our dad at his house & we all would spend the evening together. SD would have gotten to have dinner there at my dad's before it was time to be picked up. This morning, at the last minute, she canceled so I planned to take my dad out for Father's Day dinner after work... with my younger sister & our brother. Then, DH asked if he could invite his parents so he can treat his dad to dinner too. That was fine. Then SD asked DH if she could use her saved money to take him to dinner. The whole day... the plans evolved from me taking my dad out to dinner to everyone wanting to join so they can have dinner with their dad. I thought it was great... all the dad's being celebrated. The only problem is that SD gets picked up at 6 on Sundays. We worked until 4 so dinner was going to be around 6 or 7. (even if we made it 5, it wouldn't be enough time to get back for SD to be picked up on time). So, all day... SD is calling BM to ask if she can get picked up later so she can go. BM sends grandma to get her & SD called BEFORE grandma left to come get her. BM said she can only go to dinner with us if SD spends the night & grandma can pick her up tomorrow. DH & I both have to work in the morning so that wasn't going to be an option. I leave at 6:45am & DH leaves at 7:30am. So, DH calls his mom to see if SD can spend the night there & the other grandma could pick her up from there tomorrow. I guess she had an appointment or a meeting & couldn't keep her.
Our reservations were for 6pm and grandma was going to pick up SD from the restaurant. (I thought it was insensitive to make her go with us to the restaurant if she can't go in & eat... so I had suggested grandma could pick her up early from our house... was told no) So, BM sends DH a text to tell him that grandma is there, where are we? just as we are pulling up. SD is sniffling & clearly upset that she isn't getting to go to dinner with her daddy for Father's Day. Before we left, I had suggested that DH could invite grandma to stay for dinner so SD could get to go and when we arrived, he immediately invited her to stay. She said no. SD wanted to go say hi to her other grandparents that were already inside waiting for us... and then she left. DH said she was pretty upset.
Technically, the court order says DH gets Father's Day but on holidays, the pick up time is actually 5pm. IMO, it might have been better if SD had been picked up from the house instead of having to be whisked away from the parking lot... especially after going inside & seeing everyone there & she was going to miss out. And I know that it's not fair to plan things on BM's time so that's not the problem... I didn't "expect" BM to be agreeable. However, it wasn't about "her time" because she was perfectly willing to give up the whole night & let grandma come get her the next day... so, it's not like she missed SD & couldn't bear to give up the time with her... and SD hadn't eaten so grandma was going to have to stop & feed her anyway... and it was FATHER'S DAY... and just last week, DH was flexible enough to let SD go do something she wanted to do, but now that she wanted to have dinner with her dad, it's no way.
Oh well, it will probably all somehow become "MY FAULT" because I made the reservations for a time when SD couldn't go... even though the event was originally me taking my dad out to dinner after SD was to be picked up & we both had to work until 4pm so it's not like we could have planned it for breakfast, lunch or brunch with SD. It's times like this that I wonder what SD's thought processes are? She was clearly upset with her grandma because she told DH that the excuses grandma was giving were bull. I kinda wonder if she lets it go or does she give them attitude like she gives me? It really put a damper on what should have been a fun evening with my dad.... because even my dad was upset that it turned out that way for SD.