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OshkoshBrideMay 17, 2004

Hello and congratulations to all the brides to be! I have spent the last 3 hours reading every post. What a great forum. So many of you have such great ideas and hints. I am getting married May 6, 2005 and already have a lot of the basics completed. I have my dress, headpiece and shoes, the hall and church are reserved. People think I am jumping the gun with all my planning, but I would like to get everything out of the way so in the months leading up to the wedding my fiance and I can relax.

My parents divorced when I was 2, my bio dad and his wife will be attending. My step father died 2 years ago and the wedding planning is very bittersweet for my mom. My mom will be walking me down the aisle. She wants to wear a black dress because she thinks it will look very classy. I have no problem with this, but what color then does the MOG wear? My BM dresses are perwinkle, flower girl dresses are Easter dresses I bought at Target. They are pink with tulle skirts. Just darling and I only paid $20 for them!

Our ceremony will be on a Friday at 4:30 with cocktails and some sort of dinner/dancing afterwards. I have read the posts about plated and buffet with great interest. We were leaning towards buffet because it is less expensive. Our budget is $5000. I am making pew decorations that I got from Martha Stewert...lilacs and white roses in tin buckets tied to the pews with ribbon, to be given to honored guests afterwards.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for sharing what will be the happiest day of their lives!

Also, I will be 36 at my wedding. My first, although I do have a 10 year old son. He wants to be the ring bearer...I am torn because I thought it would be cool for him to stand up with the other men, and to have him walk in with my fiance, but then I also think it will be sweet for him to walk after the flower girls (who will be 10...I know it might be too old, but I don't like the look of jr brides)

and directly before my mom and I. Any ideas on anything I have posted, I would appreciate.


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I'd have the MOG wear whatever color she wants. I'd have her and your mother wait until next spring to choose exactly what they will wear. Their dresses will be things they really will wear again. They might be happiest if they are not wearing last year's style.

I'd put your son in the roll he sees for himself. He'd like to be the ring bearer. Great, he'd look cute with the girls. If he changes his mind and would like to be with the groomsmen, fine. It would be cool to have him with the other men. If he changes his mind 18 times between now and then, that just proves he is a kid. If he stands up with the other men, but would like a more active roll, he could carry the real rings. Since you can't really go wrong with where he is (both positions are fantastic) letting him go with his vision of where he is (and by extention, who he is) is probably the best route.

    Bookmark   May 17, 2004 at 5:40AM
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I think Duckie is on to something: this wedding is a year away, and a lot of the things you are trying to nail down probably will be best planned a little later. For example, you got a great buy on the flower girl dresses -- but who knows how much those girls will grow by next year? And I agree the moms will want to choose their own dresses, and might want to wait for next season.

I know it's fun to do the planning, and you sound like a very organized person who will feel more comfortable having as much as possible crossed off your list. But some things are best done later, and believe it or not can even create problems if announced too far in advance. The things you want to do early are to get your date cleared at your location(s) (you did that; good for you) and get your music and photographer lined up (they can only do one wedding at a time). Also hotel space if you will have a lot of out of town guests. After that, food (not the menu, but if you are hiring an outside caterer, you want to book him/her before someone else does) and florist (they can sometimes do more than one wedding in a weekend). Then invitations and stationery. The rest you can really let go for a while.

Your mother-in-law wears whatever color she wants. She DEFINITELY does not have to match your mom. Just let her know how dressy the wedding will be, and then it's up to her. She may ask about what length your mom's dress will be, and she may ask you what color you want her to wear. I strongly suggest you just say something like, "Any color you like. If you are concerned about clashing or anything, the bridesmaids are wearing periwinkle and I think my mom is considering wearing black."

    Bookmark   May 17, 2004 at 11:59AM
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Thanks for the responses. I know I seem like I am pushing things to get done, but there is a reason for my madness. I am having 2 seperate knee surgeries, starting this August that will keep me off my feet for 6 weeks each. My rationale is that the more I have done beforehand, the less stressed out I will be.

    Bookmark   May 17, 2004 at 11:12PM
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Hello, and welcome to our little family! :)

I am also one of those brides whose wedding is next year, mine is April 30, 2005. I would like to say that everyone on this site has been really helpful so far. My wedding is alos all planned out, but its because I'm moving form sunny California to South I figured I'd better get everything done while I am in the state where the wedding will be...

As for your dilemma...I would let the moms chose whatever they want to wear, and since you really can not predict any circumstances a year ahead I'd wait with those details.

I'm a lillte ocncerned about your flower girl little sister who is going to be 12 at the wedding is one of my BMs and we ordered a dress an entire size bigger than what she is now, so she can grow, and even that might be pushing it...just my luck she'll spurt up this summer...:)
Take my advice, wait with the dresses until you can't wait no will be less stressful. If you have any questions, drop me a line...


    Bookmark   May 18, 2004 at 1:46AM
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Thanks Froggy...I agree this forum is so helpful! I love reading about everyone else and all of their plans. As for the flower girl dresses, if they grow out of them it will not be a big deal...they can always wear them for Easter! The price was to hard to pass up and I know Target will have more next year!
I have no problem with my mom wearing black...she is a very classy lady. Another situation I am in and I don';t mean to be "rude or snobby" but I am marrying into a real country type family. I am from a much bigger city originally. I did have to draw the line at my future in laws wearing jeans to the wedding. My father in law to be doesn't even own a sport coat, but he said he will rent a tux if he can wear his cowboy boots. I think that will be fun! If anything it will make great pictures!
Looking forward to reading about your own wedding plans unfold!

    Bookmark   May 18, 2004 at 1:56AM
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I also am new to the site. I don't remember how I found this site but it has been very very helpful the last couple months to read the posts. My youngest daughter is getting married on June 26, 2004 and the countdown is on. I have faithfully read your helpful posts and have bought the pew bow clips suggested from e-bay and also got pew bows there also. We got all the attendants dresses from e-bay and have been very succesfull there also and very well pleased.I am making my dress and I am pleasantly surprised at how my high school sewing class came in handy.LOL Thanks to all for this forum and all the wonderful tips I have gotten from all.

    Bookmark   May 18, 2004 at 4:03PM
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Congrats Colleen!!

Welcome to the forum!! I have met a lot of lovely women here and I love coming a reading everyone's opinions!! I have received a ton of good advice from this forum and have "stolen" wonderful ideas!!

I am getting married this June 12th and also have a budget of $5000. By starting your planning this early, you will probably end up saving alot of money in the end.

My BM dresses are also periwinkle blue and the FG dress is a light pink with white poka dots--but it's not too much of a little girl casual look. I love these colors together for a spring wedding. My BM will be carrying pink daisies to compliment the FG dress. My bouquet is mainly white daisies with other small wild flowers in pink, yellow, and white. My fiance's family is from TX so we have incorporated blue bonnets into my bouquet as well.

I think it would look really classy with your mom wearing black if she is walking you down. Let the MOG choose a dress that she is comfortable in. But if she is like my Mother-in-law-to-be, she is probably asking your opinion. I told her what the main wedding colors were--periwinkle and pink--and that my mom wants to wear a soft pink. So she chose to get a light blueish periwinkle dress---not the exact color of the BM dresses but it looks really nice with everything.

Again, welcome and if you have questions--just put up a post!!

Congrats!! Springbride04

    Bookmark   May 20, 2004 at 5:03PM
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Thanks for the kind words! All my friends think I am crazy to start all the planning now. The refrain I hear is "you have a year!" Well, I like to be prepared. And you are right about saving money...I have decided to make my own invites and have been going to Ben Franklin everyday to use a 40% off coupon on supplies. I found a 50% off coupon for Hobby Lobby on doilies, which I will use on the tables. I love a spring wedding theme...the flowers I am using are all wildflowers too. You will have to post pictures of your wedding for all of us to see.
Honestly, I have been planning my wedding since I was 10. Now that it will actually happen I am over the moon. One of the reasons I love this forum is that we all have something in common! I don't have to bug my not married BMs with all the wedding stuff!
Congrats to you too!

    Bookmark   May 20, 2004 at 5:36PM
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I don't think it's too early at all to start planning. When my daughter got engaged, she and her fiance set the date a year later and we all hopped on the planning right away. Especially with the hall/venue, band or DJ, photographer, caterer, etc. So many of them get booked well in advance. Even if you can get other little details out of the way, there will be less stress at the last minute. Congrats and I look forward to reading about your plans!

    Bookmark   May 25, 2004 at 11:44PM
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