SO's DDs don't get along -it is draining
I don't know how to handle it. i am emotionally exausted.
here is the issue.
SO's DDs do not get along wiht each other. By that i mean they either sulking not talking to each other or openly argue or make cynical sarcastic comments to each other, like nonstop. Petty stuff like critisizing each other clothes or more serious stuff.
DD27 visited for the weekend last week (pick up wedding dress) and DD20 also came from college (she stays there over summer working and going to school) I guess because dad told her to come. the entire time they alternated between sulking not talking arguing over petty stuff. Like sitting at a dinner table and not talking or start arguing, or making annoying commenst to each other. They act like they hate each other's guts.
More so they speak poorly of each other to me. Like complain and complain and who am I to listen? They also complain about their mom to me. They also complain about their dad to me.
From the day one when they met me they started complain to me about each other, their mom (DD27 makes very bad comments, don't even want to go into that), mom's BF, their gradnparents (on mom's side). i find it beyond inappropriate and constantly change subjects (am I right that it is inappropriate?).
SO always wants me around when they visit. More so they also want me around 24/7 when they visit (to listen to their complaints?). so i have hard time doing my own stuff because they get offended.
I only have one DD and do not have expereince wiht sibling problems. me and my brother fought as children but as adults we always got along. i have no exprerience dealing wiht this. and DD does not complain about dad or other relatives to outsiders. (if she would i would tell her to stop, SO doesn't tell them to stop)
By the end of the weekend I was emotionally exausted and and tired and was happy for them to leave (I know it sounds bad).
i grew up wiht a difficult father (he mellowed with age) who had a tendency to periodaclly not talking to people, get grumpy or argue at a dinner table. I don't do well wiht this as an adult. i feel like a child when people do it in front of me. I cannot do this.
I am trying my best to constantly navigate between them two and apeace them and change subjects and I am doing OK but it wears me out.
SO knows they don't get along but why do i have to put up wiht it? Why do they talk poorly of their mother to ME,of all people ME, dad's GF? why don't they pretend and put apperances in front of me? i had to give DD27 a ride and she talked about her younger sister how immature she is and how she is this and that for 30 minutes. I would not talk like this about my brother to a stranger!!! I would talk to my best friend if I must, but probably not even that!
It's been on my mind since last weekend. i don't want to go into details what excatly they say or do, but it is draining. I feel like there is a heavy cloud on my chest because of this. Like I am surrounded by difficult people that i have to apease and keep happy. It feels fake and unnatural to me.
I don't think there is anything to advice, but anyone has SKs that don't get along? also DD27 doesn't get along wiht mom (complains to me about mom) but DD20 doesn't get along wiht dad (so she constantly complains to me about dad).
I am in the middle of this. It seriously got to me last weekend, i couldn't sleep and saw bad dreams, I felt like my emotional energy was sucked out of me. do I have to put up with this? or disengage, but how?