Grrr! Best man and groomsman back out at last minute
I'm really unhappy about this and mostly because it hurts my fiance. His 'best friend' and another 'really good friend' live in another state (where my fiance lived up til two years ago when he moved out to be with me) and they agreed almost a year ago to be best man and groomsman in our wedding.
We made sure to keep in touch and we sent out the invitations (which included hotels and costs for the area) two months ago. Our wedding is in three weeks and as of 2 weeks ago neither had sent back their rsvp with meal choices so my my fiance called and talked to them several times. He found out then that they hadn't made air or hotel reservations either so my fiance was reminding them by phone and email to get on the ball and do that. He also called them several times about getting measured for tuxes.
Just this past Friday we told them by phone that the deadline for our block of hotel rooms was that day and were told by the 'best friend' that he would make reservations that night and the other buddy (who is a travel agent) was supposedly booking tickets at that time. They said they'd get measured for the tuxes too.
Well, 2 days later (on Sunday) my fiance calls his friends to confirm their arrival times and see what hotel they are going to be in so we can arrange transportation for them to the rehearsal. That's when we got hit with the info that one wasn't coming because he couldn't afford it and the other backed out because he had planned to share hotel costs with the first one. We were pretty blown away by the news, but I have to admit, I've wondered all along how serious they were, especially when they wouldn't even choose an entree (when I needed to do a preliminary count for the caterer).
My fiance was really hurt- these guys were his best friends for years and he honestly didn't see it coming. :( I'm really angry because they obviously knew they weren't coming and didn't bother to tell us, WE had to call them! And now the 'best friend' isn't even answering his phone. He lamely said he'd been looking for hotels that were cheaper so he could come but when we tried to call him back to offer to find one for him (since we're local and know more places than we sent in the invitations) he wasn't picking up the phone. GRRR!
Needless to say I did some serious damage control right away and we have a friend (husband of one of my bm's and brother of my MOH, so I have known him for ages) who was going to help by doing the video for us and will now be a groomsman. He's even going to come down here to be measured (a 3 hr trip) AND pay extra for his tux because he'll be needing to make it a rush order! Now that's friendship!
I suggested to my fiance that he ask his dad to stand up for him as best man and his dad agreed and was quite honored! So in the long run, I think this will be much better- my fiance is very pleased about having his dad there for him. But it hurts, no doubt about it, to have friends you trust and believed in, not take something like your wedding seriously.
I suspect it was on purpose, mainly as the 'best friend' didn't want him to move and they fought about it but made up just before my fiance left the state. This guy is just plain high maintenance as a friend and he has a wife and three kids but didn't want his supposed best buddy to have a chance at marriage and happiness? geez! I kept quiet all along because they ARE/were my fiance's friends and it wasn't my place to trash talk them but I seriously wonder if this isn't their way of protesting his leaving? Or, as my MOH suggests, maybe they are just so irresponsible and immature that they didn't think it through or plan to save for coming out here when they accepted positions in the wedding party. I really don't know, but I thank God for my sweetie's dad and our friend stepping in to help out! Guess family and good friends do shine forth in need!
Of course we're going to have 7 instead of 8 at the head table now, since we want my fiance's dad to sit at the parent's table with his wife. But I got the florist straight on who's coming and who isn't and we think we've covered it all.