28 year old drama...
I wont go in to the long drawn out story of my life to get to my point but some background is: my bioparents divorced when I was 2 (today I found out legally they were separated at 2, legally divorced before 3) (does that even really matter?) apparently so.
I have 2 siblings and 2 half siblings I haven't seen since I was a child.
Dad started new family- half brother is 2 yrs younger than me... So you do the math... Other is 8 yrs younger (I think)
Dad never around, mom remarried, raised by wonderful stepdad, mom hates biodad, biodad is arrogant with 'what? What did I do?' attitude.
So today.. My older brother calls to tell me that in his 'effort' to form a relationship with biodad, he went to his town and had dinner with him and asked questions like what happened? Where were you? I don't have a relationship with BD anymore but I've tried off and on most of my life where my brother tried once when he was 11 an has never looked back. Anyway... Apparently now he has questions. Anywho.. My biodad told my brother that the reason he left was because mom was cheating. Lol I'm laughing because I have already cried.
I asked my brother 'do you believe that?' he said I don't know it makes sense right? Why else would he leave? I said 'he got another woman pregnant when I was 1 and had a new baby when I was 2... Do you believe that mom was out screwing someone when she had three kids, not to mention a sick baby (I was born with heart defects and sick for a while) ... He said I don't know maybe?
Seriously? After all these years my scum of a sperm donor wants to trash my mother??
So I called my stepdad ... I flat out asked if he knew.. His response was 'I wasn't there but this is what I believe to be true.... Once the divorce was filed and he was no longer living in the house, she went on a few dates and went out with her 'girl'friends dancing'
So my thoughts are 'that's not cheating' my brother says it is and is angry at Mom. What dad did was cheating what mom did was coping.
I don't blame my mom. I dated while I was legally separated from my ex. It wasn't serious stuff. Just a few things here and there... But by no means cheating. ExDH did the same thing and I don't think of it as he cheated on me. Right??
So I don't know why I'm posting. I cried to Dh and he just said 'im sorry what do you expect your bD is a piece of crap anyway' and he went back to watching tv. He doesn't understand how I feel because his parents are blissfully married still 45 years later and so he just doesn't 'hear' me.
I felt tonight what I have tried so hard to protect my child from feeling. I felt defensive of my mom. I felt protective of her. I wanted to pounce. And then to add to it... Brother tells me that stepmom3 was telling him 'her' version of the story which baffles me since... Dad didn't marry her until 10 years ago and don't forget, she is stepmom # 3!!! How in the world would she know what my mother was doing?? I'm so angry right now. I feel so angry.