Sign that this marriage may not last long

cate52March 12, 2008

The slightly [or maybe not at all] tipsy MOG announces that she's not gaining a daughter but rather losing a son... boy was it quiet after that little speech!!

What was said at a wedding you attended?

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poor lady! I can actually imagine that her tipsiness might cause her to misspeak.

You were there? Did she appear to mean what she said?

I must know too genteel a class of people.

The only thing sort of embarrassing I ever went through was the bride's dad who INSISTED that the national anthem of his birth country be played. I was mildly miffed--after all, he's an American citizen now--but was mollified and amused bcs it turns out the bride then INSISTED (in response) that the Star-Spangled Banner be played.

Apparently she'd had much the same reaction I did. (Plus the groom's family was several generations American, of German descent, but far enough back that it wasn't really part of their identity)

    Bookmark   March 12, 2008 at 5:23PM
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Fortunately, I have rarely seen bad behavior, but there is one woman I know who didn't behave well at her children's weddings. At the first, she was not happy about her son's marriage, and she went around thanking the guests for being there to support her in this difficult hour, etc. It was totally embarrassing. I don't remember what she said in her speech at the reception, just that it was awful, too. I felt so sorry for her new daughter-in-law and her family. She was even worse when her second son got married, also to a woman of whom she didn't approve -- she boycotted the whole thing, and they arrived at the hotel on their wedding night to find she had canceled their reservation! Then at her daughter's wedding (to a real jerk, but one of whom she approved), she made a point of saying things like, "NOW I can be happy," etc. Obviously, she is a little nuts, and a real drama queen, but believe it or not, even she has a lot of good points, too.

Fortunately, that first son and DIL (I don't know about the second) were patient with the MOG and they all now get along great. Good thing, too -- they have TRIPLETS, and she is a huge help! Goes to show you it pays to forgive bad behavior if you possibly can.

I can't say that this kind of thing gives any indication of the marriage's chances, though -- all three of her children are still married.

    Bookmark   March 12, 2008 at 9:23PM
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Have you ever gone to the Etiquette Hell website? It's full of stories like that. I wonder if the lady just got her words mixed up or did she mean to say that?

When my brother got married - my parents were against it. My dad was going to boycott it, but then was persuaded to attend. It was my job to corral him and get him down the aisle to his seat. At the last minute he became adamant and I ended up dragging him down to the front of the church. Then I was scared he would speak up when the minister asked if anybody knows just cause why this man and woman should not be united in holy matrimony, so I distracted him just before that part. I sure was glad when that wedding was over!

    Bookmark   March 13, 2008 at 12:34PM
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At my bridal shower my (now ex) MIL told a friend of hers, "Tommy is definitely marrying the prettier of the Smith girls" (with Tommy being xH and Smith a replacement for my real last name). This was overheard by my mother, who was absolutely LIVID. My ex-MIL was shallow, to say the least (a former beauty queen, in fact). Incidentally, my sister is gorgeous, and a very different "type" than me. I don't think my mother ever spoke to her after that.

Have you ever seen the comedy bit that Kathy Griffin does about Brooke Shields's mother at Brooke's wedding? Tragic and hilarious. See the link below, best part from 5:10 on. (Warning: profanity)

Here is a link that might be useful: Video

    Bookmark   March 13, 2008 at 7:53PM
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I attended a wedding reception where the groom's mother told several people she regretted not having her son insist on a wedding prenup. This in spite of the fact the bride's family had more money than the groom's family.

The marriage lasted 10 months. It seems the groom didn't realize his bride should have been the woman in his life, not his mother.

    Bookmark   March 16, 2008 at 12:24AM
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My parents and my brother in law never really got along. My mom really really wanted to get along but my sisters husband just isn't very accepting.

My sister and mom were really really close and when my sister met her husband she left town and moved 5 hours away.

Anyways... at the wedding my mom was being sentimental and said "When I first met Bob, I sure didn't like him...I knew that my daughter was in love with him and he was going to take her to the big city...." After those first few words the room fell silent! To this day my sisters husband still holds that against both my parents.

My sister and husband have three kids and have had serious marital problems and he has cheated on her a couple of times. It's really quite sad. They are still married and it's going on 10 years.

The joy of family huh!

Here is a link that might be useful: Share Ideas and Give Advice in the K.i.s.s Corner

    Bookmark   March 17, 2008 at 6:42PM
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I have been to several weddings where the worst jerk in the family toasts the bride and groom with dopey comments. I think the bride and groom should get to pick who does the speeches and make sure somebody is right there to interrupt in case the speech is either nasty or tasteless or the toaster is wasted.

    Bookmark   March 17, 2008 at 8:26PM
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I just finished watching Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?: New Years, New Beginnings and have to say that the MOG was a piece of work. The bride found out the MOG was wearing a red dress, they had everyone at the dress fitting and everyone mentions how red her dress is and how she'll show up the bride, she doesn't care and at one point says something to the effect that it's "her" day; as she's never had a wedding.

Watching the MOG at the reception; boy she wasn't kidding it was her day as she worked the room and danced the night away in her red dress. I did notice that she wasn't the only one in a red dress but feel she could have budged and gotten a different color to make her future DIL happy. Can you imagine printing up family pictures and having to be reminded of the red dress when you look at the pictures?

The bride handled it well I thought.

    Bookmark   March 21, 2008 at 1:17PM
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I don't think wearing a red dress is a big deal. Why shouldn't she wear whatever color she wants, except I suppose white or funereal black (like a black suit at a daytime wedding; you certainly see plenty of black party dresses at evening ones)? I don't think the bride gets to dictate everyone else's clothes, except bridesmaids and MOH. As you said, other people were wearing red. Ditto working the room and dancing the night away -- shouldn't she do that at her son's wedding?

But -- as with most other things -- the WAY she did it seems to have created a problem. Announcing that she wanted to be the center of attention and then making sure it happened -- that was the problem, it seems to me, not the color of her dress. If it were a wedding in which the parents stood with the couple during the ceremony, as in a Jewish wedding, and the wedding party were all in black and white or something, then I guess choosing a vivid color would be sort of look-at-me. But even then, if her behavior, and more important, her ATTITUDE, had been better, no one would be reminded of her being obnoxious every time they saw the pictures. I have a feeling that in this lady's case, even if she'd wore beige, that might have happened.

This story reminds me of a wedding I went to about 30 years ago that really fits this string. At the end of the ceremony, just when her son was about to kiss his bride, the MOG grabbed him and kissed him first. That marriage lasted about 2 years ....

    Bookmark   March 21, 2008 at 2:32PM
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That reminds me of my MIL. Several weeks before the wedding, she told me she had her dress. So, I asked to see it and she said I'd have to wait until the wedding. I thought it was strange thing to say, I thought the brides gown was the only one nobody saw. (she had seen a picture of my dress) We get along well, and I'm glad nobody said anything distressing at our wedding. I was slightly annoyed that during the reception, a couple of the groomsmen changed out of their tux's and put on t-shirts & jeans. (and not even nice ones).

    Bookmark   March 24, 2008 at 3:33PM
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I asked to see it and she said I'd have to wait until the wedding. I thought it was strange thing to say, I thought the brides gown was the only one nobody saw.

I think people are entitled to keep the suspense of what their fancy dress looks like, whether they're a bride or not.

If I go out and buy a really spiffy dress for a special occasion, I like to keep it a secret until people see it for the first time.

    Bookmark   March 24, 2008 at 5:20PM
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I second the Etiquette Hell nomination! I have laughed for many hours at the entries there.

I was not actually present for this wedding I'll mention - but one of our more obnoxious friends (I'll call her C) was. The happy couple were to wed on a cruise ship amongst 150 friends and family...and when our obnoxious friend still hadn't made it 15 minutes after the boat was meant to set sail, the boat departed. C actually CALLED the bride's cell phone (I'll call the bride L) and L's sister/maid of honor answered. The boat actually turned around to pick up C and when she boarded, with L literally waiting in the wings to walk down the aisle, C shouted, "I'M HERE!!!" The girl has no shame!!


    Bookmark   April 21, 2008 at 6:15PM
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Gellchom, I didn't think the red dress was a BIG deal either. After all, who displays ALL of their wedding photos? (Meaning that color coordination is going to haunt them forever?) And who has the balls (besides a bride-zilla) to dictate what color people can wear? At least the grooms mother had a positive attitude about the wedding! I'd be more concerned about a person in the "right" outfit with the "wrong" attitude. I think it shows more about the bride than it does about the mother-in-law.

    Bookmark   April 28, 2008 at 5:00PM
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