Bridal shower/reception

courtlessMarch 1, 2005

My husband and I recently eloped, after a very stressful year of trying to plan a wedding. My problem is the wedding shower/reception. Our family has not met yet and many live out of state. How should I go about letting people know where were registered, On our shower invitations?

please help

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The only way people should learn about a registry is if they ask. Showers are not customary unless there is going to be a wedding, and they are nearly never held after a wedding. If there is a delayed wedding reception, some people may ask about the registry, in which case you can tell them.

    Bookmark   March 1, 2005 at 4:13PM
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I would rename the party. You might be able to get away with calling it a reception, but not a shower! I'd also leave out registry information and let people ask if they want to know. I bet some people will be mad that you eloped and now are having a party, which, unfortunately, many will view as you just wanting the gifts. The best was to minimize these bad feelings is to avoid mentioning gifts in the first place.

Congratulations on your marriage!

    Bookmark   March 2, 2005 at 6:49AM
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Have to agree with the other posters. Do not have a shower. That is a gathering to have before the wedding. I also would not host/plan the reception yourselves. Is there anyone else that can do it? That does seem to me to be just asking for gifts. Do not include any info on gifts in the invitations. People will get in touch if they need help selecting a gift if they choose to give one. My brother and his wife eloped to Hawaii to get married. We had a party for them some months after they returned. We asked if it was okay with them if our family hosted a wedding party for them. They said okay to the party but asked that it be known they did not want anyone to bring wedding gifts. They did not feel right about recieving them after they had eloped. Of course because we are family and love them both many people brought gifts and envelopes to the party. They accepted them graciously and thanked everyone for coming and did send out thank you notes to all. NancyLouise

    Bookmark   March 2, 2005 at 8:24AM
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Another strong vote for just calling it a reception or party, and not distributing any kind of registry information in any way. It will just look way, way too much like the whole point is to get people to give you the gifts to which you are "entitled." I don't think it makes any difference whether a couple elopes or has a wedding. It's not like they don't "deserve" gifts if they didn't have a wedding, and just as true that no one owes them any gifts even if they do. Gifts are always voluntary, and whether there was a wedding is irrelevant.

Certainly if you are the hosts, don't call it a "shower"! Even if it were before the wedding.

If people want to know whether you are registered and where, they will ask. Please, do not make any reference whatever to gifts on anything -- except a thank you note, of course!

    Bookmark   March 2, 2005 at 5:44PM
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thank you all so much for the great advice

    Bookmark   March 2, 2005 at 11:05PM
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A reception invitation does not carry the expectation of a gift, so it would not be a good idea to give the impression that you expect gifts by including any written information about them. If guests choose to give a gift, they will ask about registries. As others mentioned, a shower occurs before the wedding; a reception afterwards.

    Bookmark   March 3, 2005 at 7:43PM
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