Black and White?

dotz_gwMarch 31, 2009

In another post(MOG/MOB wearing sari)someone said black, white dresses shouldnt be worn.I know you shouldnt wear anything white or bridal looking,but I thought black was acceptable for a guest these days.Its too late for me now, but for future reference as SMOG, I wore a long black crepe skirt with a fitted white linen jacket.DH was wearing a tux.There was no communication from B, G or family on what they expected me to wear.Did I make a mistake?

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I think a straight black outfit with no other colors whatsoever would be harsh. Also black during a morning or early afternoon wedding. But if paired with another color, or for an afternoon/evening wedding I think black is very acceptable.

My wedding was black and white, and I told guests to feel free to wear black.

My main rule is "don't upstage the bride". That goes for sexy/revealing/bold colors/patterns as well as looking so depressed or angry (severe black) that other guests could misinterpret the clothing choice as being against the wedding.

As long as you had a smile on your face and weren't wearing a wedding dress (I actually have gone to a wedding where the MOG wore her own wedding dress!!!!! Oh the horror!!!) I'd say you were appropriate!

    Bookmark   March 31, 2009 at 4:23PM
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The post you refer to included info that the ceremony would include Hindu Indian and Fillipino cultural traditions. It wouldn't suprise me at all if the 'no black' rule was in reference to those. Black worn at a traditional American style wedding would not necessarily be inappropriate.

    Bookmark   March 31, 2009 at 5:14PM
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True Duckie. In those cultures it's best to wear bright, happy colors to a wedding.

    Bookmark   April 2, 2009 at 10:59AM
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My sister married a MidEastern man, and every female relative wore black..Someone at the wedding told them it was inappropriate to wear black to a wedding. Grooms sister asked me in the restroom, did they do something wrong? I was feeling SO bad for them..I told her that it was old fashioned advice, they were fine. I know they were all uncomfortable for the rest of the evening...Wish I could of found out what guest told them that..I would have given them whatfor!!!There was certainly no malice in what they wore, just their custom, I m guessing

    Bookmark   April 2, 2009 at 11:56AM
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The "tradition" of not wearing black refers to the MOB and MOG, not to guests. Apparently, in years past for a mother to wear black to her child's wedding was a sign of disapproval of the marriage. Today, most moms still avoid wearing black, and never white or off-white, but guests routinely wear black, particularly black cocktail dresses.

The person who embarrassed guests of another culture should be ashamed.

    Bookmark   April 2, 2009 at 5:30PM
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I think the "rule" refers to guests, too, but it's not a hard and fast (I was tempted to say "black and white") rule, and the OP's outfit sounds PERFECT to me (at the wedding I went to last week, the mothers and stepmother all wore black cocktail dresses; many of the guests, including me, wore black, too). Anyway, a black skirt with a white top isn't "wearing black." The "rule" really isn't about any color; it's about dressing appropriately for the time and nature of the event.

You don't wear white because you don't want it to look like you are trying to look like a bride yourself. But a white suit with a colored blouse or something is fine -- as long as it doesn't look like something a bride would wear. Even less an issue if you are not anywhere near the bride's age (think of the difference between the bride's sister wearing a white outfit and her grandma doing so).

With black, the idea is to avoid looking like you are predicting doom. But there are plenty of black outfits that look anything but funereal! I go to a lot of weddings, and black is definitely the most common color worn by women, especially at night (probably because it is hard to find party dresses that AREN'T black). I would avoid it for a daytime wedding, unless it is clearly not something you would wear to a funeral, but it's fine at night.

Other than that, I'd avoid any dress that is too flashy or sexy if the wedding is to be held in a house of worship or will be a religious ceremony. If you wear an outfit with bare shoulders or a plunging neckline, bring a scarf or jacket to cover up for the ceremony -- it's inappropriate to flash a lot of skin in a sanctuary.

    Bookmark   April 5, 2009 at 3:01PM
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I think that rule is passe. I wore a black and white evening dress as MOB. My friend wore a black and silver dress as MOG. I think the important thing is not to wear white and not to compete with the bride, as if I would or COULD.

    Bookmark   April 7, 2009 at 2:57AM
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