party help please....

sep2897February 1, 2006

A close friend called last night to say he's getting married Mar 11 @ 2:00....which is 38 days from now. We'd really, really like to do some sort of special party for them. But, here are our limitations...

time's very short--38 days till wedding. bride & groom busy many of weekends in between with work. If I plan pronto & send invites, like now, I could maybe pull off something before the wedding

out of towners--encompasses majority of possible guests. I want to be mindful that they'd also be traveling for wedding very shortly.

weather--it's cold & nothing outside possible here now

very small wedding--family, & scant number of friends, at a private ceremony. Best man/Matron of honor/Ring bearer only attendants. I can't ask other friends, not invited to wedding, to any prenuptial party or shower. No rehearsal dinner.

No "just girls" showers--need couples event, or families

2nd marriage for older bride--doesn't need to "set up" house & isn't registering anywhere, but event including gifts or not would be fine.

Any suggestions on what to do for them on such short notice? I'm trying to drum up ideas to present to bride & groom for their approval.

I'm toying with idea of throwing a big party afterwards (started thread asking about this), but it's not like they eloped, or had a destination wedding far away, so I don't know if it's better to just make something happen before the wedding, as traditionally would be.

Arrrgghhh! I'm gushing with excitement for them, but dang! it's a pain for it all to happen so fast, & the wedding be so tiny! Still love'em though & know it will be a more special wedding, being so small! Don't they know I have a party I want to give! Hee Hee ---all that is just in fun--this couple is awfully special to us...but, seriously...Help me people :)

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sweet_pea10

I would go with doing something after the wedding. People don't have to have a destination wedding to have a larger reception later. But, you don't have to have a reception. What about waiting a couple of months and having all of their friends get together for a barbeque or a picnic in the couple's honor - no gifts needed. It would be a way for everyone to congratulate the couple and celebrate with them in a casual way.

    Bookmark   February 1, 2006 at 5:44PM
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lindac

I would throw a big bash as soon as possible after the wedding....a celebration asking as many friends as your circumstances allow!
No gifts even hinted at....invitatations should say just "to meet the mew mr and Mrs. Newlyweds"....and you can be sure there will be gifts....
Linda C

    Bookmark   February 1, 2006 at 8:37PM
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talley_sue_nyc

Only a shower invitation hints at gifts. Unless you're crass and stick the registry card in there.

And I vote for the big party afterward, mostly out of kindness for them.

You might also consider simply treating them to a dinner out w/ you either before or after, and making it be between you and them. Or round up a much smaller group of people for something similarly intimate, esp. if lots of folks who'd come are out of town. Maybe those out-of-towners could send along a video greeting, or something--coax them to write their favorite story of bride or groom or courtship, even if it's two sentences ("any woman who can get him to worry about whether his socks are pulled up is a woman he'll stay with forever!")

And touch base w/ some of those out-of-town friends, to see if they'll definitely travel for such an event--it would be awkward to invite 70 people and have the 12 locals show up.

As for timing, I vote for very shortly after they return from their honeymoon, while other folks are still sort of excited for them, and consider them newlyweds. Once someone's been married for 4 months, I'm ready to move on, personally.

    Bookmark   February 1, 2006 at 10:44PM
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gellchom

Talley Sue makes an excellent point about timing. As soon as it's convenient after the honeymoon, I agree.

    Bookmark   February 2, 2006 at 4:58PM
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sep2897

thank you all so much for your great advice---I really appreciate it & the input is really helpful to me.

    Bookmark   February 5, 2006 at 12:00PM
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