Gifts for the Bride and Groom

jmcaFebruary 1, 2006

The bride and groom have an established household and have pretty much enough of the "stuff" they need but are registered for their china pattern and some luggage but these are expensive items. They enjoy eating out and the bride has a foundation in her name. What other things can they register for so that everyone will have the opportunity to give them something, if they so choose to? We have gotten several calls already about the registry places but of course, the couple can't ask or even hint for monetary gifts but they don't want to put anyone in a financial bind by having only registered for china and stemware.

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You have already done exactly the right thing. Don't register for a bunch of stuff you don't need just to be registering things in all price ranges. If your guests don't want to buy the luggage or china, they will choose something on their own for you or else just give you cash. You don't need to pre-select gifts in order for "everyone [to] have the opportunity to give [you] something, if they so choose to." A registry isn't an "opportunity," it's a wish list. I think that a shorter registry looks nicer anyway, and several posters have pointed out that the shorter the registry, the more likely you are to get cash gifts, which may be your preference anyway if you don't need or want more stuff.

    Bookmark   February 1, 2006 at 2:51PM
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Thanks for responding. I don't want to sound greedy or anything and you are right it is a "wish list" not an "opportunity". I apologize for the misunderstanding.

    Bookmark   February 1, 2006 at 3:00PM
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You may say something like a gift in their honor to the "such and so foundation" is always welcome....provided it is a charitable foundation!
Linda C

    Bookmark   February 1, 2006 at 3:02PM
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One nice way for you (who are not the bride or groom) to hint at money is to say that OTHER people have already decided. "They've registered for plants at the local nursery, because of course they've got the basic household stuff. But I know her aunt decided simply to donate to the bride's foundation--it's for a good cause/the money will help them more than any stuff will!" Or even "I know they're not planning much of a honeymoon, so her dad and I are going to give them some cash to encourage them to splurge a little."

Have them consider registering for SOME household stuff--new dish towels, a fresh toaster, new placemats for 12, a tablecloth to fit their new, larger table?--surely there's something they wouldn't mind replacing? Even if it's just brand new sheets for their marriage bed.

You can also give people CATEGORIES of ideas--tell them the registry will let them know what her china is, and that might give them an idea for placemats, or an inexpensive platter, or that you know the bride really admires silverplate, or they've got a fireplace.

Other general ideas to toss out for those seeking ideas might be stuff like: "their new kitchen is sort of peachy--I bet they'd like some kitchen towels." Or "they've got a sizeable lawn for the first time--it wouldn't be traditional, but some lawn-care tools would be really useful."

Or suggest that folks buy the one thing THEY couldn't do without, like their favorite kitchen gadget, or the household tool or feature they think is most useful.

And if you yourself have a couple of specific ideas, remember that it's fair game to pass them along (as long as you're willing to share): "I was over helping them get the place set up, and his step ladder is just atrocious!" or "I know she thinks she doesn't need any towels, but personally I think hers are going to give out in about another year, so get her some in sage green!" Or even, "She was waxing poetic about that new restaurant, and I bet they'd love a chance to have a romantic dinner there; I wonder if they have gift certificates."

YOU can suggest gift certificates; you can even mention cash (though as I said, I wouldn't say "you should give them cash" as much as "some people are going to.")

Don't apologize--your attitude it fine.

and, remember--people don't have to buy an entire place setting out of that china & crystal. My boss bought me two stems at $25 each; my friend bought me one. I bought a friend her platter ($70) bcs I wanted her to remember which was mine, and place setting sort of fade into the background. A vegetable bowl is often about $25 or even less; and many times the place setting is $70. So in some circles, not many people will buy the place setting, but they could buy a single plate, or two soup bowls, or a serving piece.

Another thing to think of: there are cheaper places to get the same china--Michael C. Fina, Nat Schwartz, and all have better prices than most department stores, so if it's someone you think is a tad intrepid and less splurgy, mention to themthat the registry will tell them WHAT the bride & groom like, but that other places might make their money go further.

    Bookmark   February 1, 2006 at 11:03PM
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