step's point of view please
I need a stepparentÂs point of view. I'm the biological mom. I live with my husband and my 2 daughters, ages 11 and 16. We married last year. I was already having big problems with my 16 yr. old before getting married. After getting married the problems got even worse and have caused a lot of problems in our marriage. We are dealing with her, setting consequences, being consistent, etc. She is about to start going to her fathers house on the weekends because she doesnÂt follow the rules here and I am like a hostage in my own house. The problem I need help with is with my younger daughter and my husband. She is very sweet, follows rules, does fine at school, etc. IÂve never had a problem with her Â ever. My husband is a good man, raised 2 nice kids, hard working and loving to me. He is generally nice to my younger daughter, but she wonÂt warm up to him. This makes him angry and he says sheÂs rude for the tiniest things. My daughter is very well behaved and not rude. When sheÂs reprimanded in an unfair way, she becomes sad. He nitpicks for the dumbest things until she finally answers hims and then he says sheÂs rude and shouldnÂt answer back. Because of the problems with my older daughter, we are often in a bad mood and I feel like he takes it out on my younger one. Anytime I try to talk about it with him he blows up and says that I always blame him for my daughtersÂ problems. IÂm not blaming him, I just want to let him know how it makes her feel and suggest some alternate ways of communication. IÂm tired of arguing with him. I didnÂt talk to him for almost 2 days until last night when he insisted I tell him what was wrong. All I said was "IÂm just sad about this whole situationÂ" and he started yelling that IÂm blaming him again, bla bla blaÂI understand that itÂs hard for him to live with kids that arenÂt his and that aren't warm with him. I love my husband but I am seriously considering leaving him. I really wanted a heatlhy, 2 parent home for my daughter but she is feeling stressed out too now. I don't know how much of this is because of the problems with my older daugther.