No date allowed for Maid of honor/Sister?

maymoJanuary 27, 2008

My friend is the maid of honor for her sister's wedding in March. It is a small wedding (40 people). All invites included a guest EXCEPT for my friend! She is in her 30's and has a date so it's not like she is too young. She questioned the bride twice and the bride still says that she can't bring a date. The bride insists that her sister is only there to serve her by helping out of town guests and by watching the kids. How screwed up is that? What should my friend do?

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sue36

I don't think there is really much she can do. She can't force the bride to let her bring a date (it sounds like she already brought it up with her) and she can't drop out of her sister's wedding. I guess she could ask her mother for help (the mother of both women, correct?).

It sounds a little odd. Is your friend actually being singled out, or was there a method to who was allowed to bring a date and who was not? With such a small wedding I can see them only have guests bring a date if they were married, engaged or in a serious relationship. Does your friend have a history of dating people the bride wouldn't want at the wedding? Does the bride know who your friend would bring and she doesn't like him? Maybe the bride knows or suspects that if she brings a date she will completely neglect her maid of honor duties to party with her date? Or maybe the sister is a bridezilla.

Just as an aside, helping out of town guests and babysitting are not typical maid of honor duties.

    Bookmark   January 28, 2008 at 12:20AM
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gellchom

Babysitting and helping out of towners may not be typical maid of honor duties, but they do come under the category of helping the bride and her family with whatever needs to be done, which seems to me to be the overall "duty" of a MOH. And this MOH is the bride's sister; these things do seem like typical member-of-the-immediate-family duties. It may not be as much fun as hanging out with a date, but that's what family members do for each other.

On the whole, though, I agree with sue36, especially the part about it not seeming so odd in such a small wedding. "All invites included a guest" except the sister's -- how many can they possibly be talking about? Out of 40 people, presumably including the bridal couple and their parents, how many are single? Is this girl in a serious relationship that the sister is insulting, or is she just expecting to be permitted to go out and find a stranger to bring to this very small wedding? Anyway, whether or not it was "fair" for the bride to tell her sister she can't bring a date, I think that the MOH just needs to go along graciously with her sister's decision. It's only a few hours; presumably she can live without a date for that long and just enjoy her family.

And I think the OP should not encourage her friend to make trouble!

    Bookmark   January 28, 2008 at 10:25AM
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