Stepfamily Siminar - Ever been or heard of one?

jess3May 12, 2010

My DH heard on the radio about a stepfamily conference that he is interested in us going to. I would like to know if anyone here has ever been to something like this. If so, did you get some good info and tools from it?

This one is presented by Ron Deal the Author of: The Smart Stepfamily, The Smart Stepmom and the Remarriage Checkup.

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imamommy

I've taken active parenting for stepfamilies. The Marriage seminar is going to be near here later this year... I may check it out.

    Bookmark   May 12, 2010 at 6:11PM
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ashley1979

You should totally go!!!!! I've never been to one, but I've read the books and they helped me tremendously!

If you go, please let us know how it was.

    Bookmark   May 13, 2010 at 12:41PM
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jess3

We are going. It starts tomorrow evening and ends Saturday afternoon.I will update after we get done.

I am excited about getting some good information. I have been doing somme research on him. He is known for his mistry to stepfamilies.

    Bookmark   May 13, 2010 at 3:32PM
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jess3

The siminar was great. We learned so much. I highly recommend it for anyone who is in a stepfamily. He also is a marriage therapist so he had alot of good tools for our marriage and the blending of our stepfamily. We met other couples, we did different exercises that help get more of an understanding of where the kids position and feelings are. Really wonderful speaker, he is a christian councilor so he referneces the old testiment.
My DH had been pushing me to get on to his kids when they are being mouthy towards me or not picking up their trash like I ask and to be affectionate towards them. I was against it and he thought that I was giving up that I did not want anything to do with them. I tried and tried to tell him I was not comfortable doing those things and I was sure the kids wouldnt be. At the siminar the guy told us exactly what I had been telling my DH. Its his place to do that not mine. So he is not going to presure me anymore about those things. That had been a big disagreement with us for a while. I am so happy that was resolved.
It really helped us to understand our feelings, the kids feeling, their mothers feelings. I bought The Smart Stepmom book, and The Smart Stepfamily book that he wrote.
Here is the website. If there is one scheduled close to you it is worth the time to go.
http://www.successfulstepfamilies.com/

    Bookmark   May 17, 2010 at 10:12AM
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ashley1979

Awesome!!!!! I'm going to see if they are coming to my town!

I read The Smart Stepfamily about 2 years after my divorce. Two things that really hit home with me were:

1) Stepfamilies aren't "blended". "Blending" insinuates that each individual goes in whole, but then loses their own identity and becomes a completely different substance. (I think of smoothies; the berries and yogurt and such goes in and comes out unrecognizable). Stepfamilies are more like salads. Each individual goes in whole, but after they are tossed and mixed around, the flavors combine to form a whole new substance, but with each ingredient maintaining it's properties. For instance, in a chef salad, the meat and eggs and lettuce and dressing all go into it, but a person could still pick out each individual ingredient.

2) In a divorce, a person must give up all ties to a marriage. Not just the good feelings, but the anger, bitterness, hurt, betrayal feelings, too.

There are a lot of people who feel entitled to hang on to the negative feelings. This really helped me be a better co-parent with X. I was no longer angry and hurt and betrayed because I wanted to release all the marital bonds so I could move forward with my new relationship.

    Bookmark   May 18, 2010 at 10:57AM
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