Court with BM today... Me, not DH
Yes, I sued BM. and sorta won today.
I posted a while ago how BM's mother picked up SD last month & got her bloomers in a twist because some shoes were confiscated from SD & she bought them. I called grandma to explain that SD had not been taking care of her things & I took them as a lesson & she could get them back if she did what she was supposed to. Instead, SD told grandma that I took her shoes away & won't let her wear them. (I don't know if grandma asked her where they were or if SD was "tattling" on me to get grandma riled up... doesn't matter really) I called grandma to explain the situation & she starts yelling at me that I have no right to take stuff she buys for SD. I told her that when she buys something for SD, it becomes SD's property & since we are raising SD, it is up to us to discipline & taking the shoes was the same as say, taking her cell phone or a favorite toy away. She wasn't taking care of her clothes so her favorite shoes were taken... it wouldn't have mattered who bought them. So, grandma proceeds to tell me that I have no right to make any decisions regarding SD because SD has a mother. I was angry & told grandma that I'm more of a mother to SD than BM... that BM needs to get off her lazy @$$ and come get her daughter herself instead of sending grandma all the time... then grandma said she was going to get an attorney & I told her go ahead, they can bring up the shoes in court but they are not going to change the rules in our house. Then BM got on the phone & started yelling at me about court & how she thinks I am abusing SD. They started saying that we dress SD in rags & all I told her was that she needs to stop playing farmville all day & be a mother to her kid. (I did use the F word many times but that's the clean version of what happened) I had no idea that SD was in the room with her mom or that BM had even put the phone on speaker.
Anyway, BM went on Facebook that day & wrote "So I am being harrassed and threatened by my ex's wife on facebook, can everyone check to see if you have either a "my full real name" or "my husband's full real name" on your friends list and let me know. She is STALKING MYSELF AND MY DAUGHTER!!!!"
Well, it's not true. I have never threatened her... well, I did tell her that I would be bringing evidence to court to prove she is a liar, so maybe she considers that a threat? and I did say the F word a few too many times & I did call her lazy & a bad mother... so maybe she considers that to be harassment. But, apparently it is not in the eyes of the law. The Judge told her she crossed the line by writing that stuff. She openly admitted she wrote it because I made a reference to her playing farmville all day so she was angry. I told the Judge I would like her to stop lying about me to anyone that will listen... now she is using my full name on an internet site which could potentially be seen by hundreds of people, which damages my reputation. There were nine people that wrote responses. Two responses talked about sending people over here to "take care of business" and BM was encouraging it, not saying that she doesn't want anyone to get hurt! So, I filed a defamation of character/libel lawsuit in small claims court. In CA, the small claims court limit is $7,500.00 and since I didn't want to spend hundreds on filing fees & attorney's (because I know I won't collect on it), I filed it for the maximum of $7,500.00.
The Judge agreed with me. He said she was wrong but he was reluctant to give me a Judgment because he cited the ongoing family law case with DH. He said there were probably many other issues and that her doing this should be brought up in the family court... (if only he knew the half of it) When I told him about her badmouthing me for years, he did issue a conditional judgment against her saying if she says anything about me in the next six months, I can come back & he will award me the $7,500.00. So, I was pleased that the court did not throw it out and give her the message that what she did was excusable. He flat out told her she was wrong. She asked the Judge to make the conditional judgment go both ways so I would have to pay her if I said bad words to her again. The Judge laughed and said it doesn't work that way, so he told her no.