My SS doesn't get a normal childhood
We put my ss in baseball this year. His bm knew we were doing this. She said nothing about it, just let us do it. He has improved so much this year. He's doing really really well with it. He can almost hit the ball over the fence. So, she is court ordered 8 weeks during the summer. She fought for this, standard is 7 when distance is involved. She really wanted the entire summer but we fought back. (Just a reminder, she moved out of state, a 5 hour drive to be with a new man) Last night she texted my husband asking when school was out because she was going to be getting him as soon as it was done. She says she's putting him in programs at the Y. No offense here but with our experience, the programs at the Y are more for the kids with no abilities, just to have something to do. What he is in with us is competitive. He LOVES it. Anyway, my husband explained to her that if she gets him June 20, she'll have him for the last 8 weeks of the summer. BUT that he will not be able to finish baseball and that he'll miss the tournaments. He also has a GREAT chance at making all stars this year, which he is pretty excited about. He won't be able to do that either. She absolutely doesn't care about what her son wants what so ever. She wants him there. It's NOT because she cares about him, if she did she wouldn't have left him for a man. It's simply to prove a point to us. That she's still mom and still gets to call the shots.
We have 4 boys all together. They all live with us. They all play baseball. We couldn't just sign the other three up and not him. Plus he LOVES it. It'd be mean to not sign him up. She can't sign him up because the season starts practice in April, games in May. School isn't out till end of May. The way it is, he'll NEVER get to play. We can't keep signing him up and not having him finish. It's not fair to his team to do that every year. I just think it's so very very selfish of her to do this to him. She chose to move out of state, she chose to be with this new man over her son, now he has to pay for it. AND she doesn't care. She tells him "oh sweet pea, I love you more then anything, to the moon and back and more then anything in the universe" yet she still chose that man over her son. Her new man also chose her over his daughter. He abandonded his daughter, no longer has anything to do with her.... she's not quite 2 yet. The parenting time guidelines state that we can't keep him from her because of sports, yet it also states that if she wants him during that season, she has to provide something very similar to it. She CAN'T!!!! She CANNOT sign him up for baseball over in that state and allow him to play this. What are your thoughts about this? Do you all think she's being very selfish as well? She could easily come over here and watch him play, spend a few weekends here with him until she can get him for the remainder of the summer but she refuses. She'd rather spend her money on booze. (I also believe she and the new man are doing illegal drugs, but right now I can't prove it.... they look aweful and his sister just got arrested for possesion of heroin)
I also don't want my ss growing up thinking it's ok to have a child and not take care of it like this new guy is doing. They blame the mom... saying the mom won't let him see her. I've talked to the mom. He left and didn't look back. I know there are two sides to every storey but I really believe the mom. ANY man who wants to see his child has resources available to him to be able to see that child, whether the mom likes it or not... therefore I am on her side. (My son's father abandonded him, therefore I have NO simpathy for this sort of behavior).... Anyway.... any thoughts?