Would you??

byebyemindMay 31, 2009

I have posted here a few times. I am married and my dh has custody of my skids. Their bm is barely involved.

In August we are going on a cruise with the kids. We are driving to the port where the cruise leaves from. My dh's ex brother-in-law lives in that town. We planned on getting into town the night before the cruise and staying in a hotel. My dh called his ex bro-in-law to see if him and his 3 kids and wife wanted to meet us for dinner that night. It has been years since the kids have seen their cousins. Well the brother-in-law said yes.

Then a few days later he called back and told dh that he talked it over with his wife and if we want to stay there with the kids instead of a hotel we are welcome to. They have a guest room and the kids can all sleep in their finished basement on sleeping bags with their kids. He even said if we are able that we can come a day or so earlier and stay there and hang out.

My dh and him used to be very close, but obviously rarely talked after the split with his ex.

Would you stay there if you were me? DH told me he understands if I don't want to stay there. But I keep thinking about the kids and how much they would enjoy a few days with their cousins and uncle. My friends tell me that I am outgoing and can win anyone over and should go ahead and do it. Plus as an added bonus when bm finds out it would really burn her that I stayed at her brothers and he barely even talks to her.

What would you do?

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I'd stay there.

The kids will be thrilled to spend the night with their cousins, & it'll go tremendously far in "normalizing" their world.

but I would *not* look on it as a "bonus" if their mother was really "burned" about it, & I would bite my tongue right off before I'd let those kids suspect that I was gloating over their mother's anger.

This is to do with the *children's* family, not with spite & competition between 2 grown women.

    Bookmark   May 31, 2009 at 3:35PM
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If you think you will be comfortable there then do it. Your right when you say the kids would love it. I am sure they would.

And while I understand your desire to stick it to bm I would not make that thought public. You will look much better if you stay there without making that private thought known to anyone else.

    Bookmark   May 31, 2009 at 3:47PM
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Go for it! The ex BIL and wife have shown that they are comfortable enough to offer the invitation and accept you into their home, so I think you should absolutley accept the invite. It could be a lot of fun...

I'm sure your DH would appreciate being able to catch up with an old friend (even though it's the ex's brother, they still became friends along the way) and the kids would more likely enjoy spending time in a house with family than in a stuffy hotel room.

You can do your happy dance of getting to BM in private!

    Bookmark   June 1, 2009 at 10:12AM
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