I'm actually glad his baby's mother is petty
Long time lurker here. I am a childfree, happily married woman to a husband with a 4 year old son from a previous relationship. My husband and his ex were together (not married) for 6 years before they split. Him and I have been married for 1, together for 2. Since we've gotten married the baby's mother has expressed to my husband that she doesn't want thier sone at our house. My husband takes no non-sense from his baby's mother(you know how babymommas can be sometimes)so he disregarded her wishes because she had no real reason to say this. When he told me about it, I told him that he should respect her wishes. So he agreed to it. His ex now drops thier son off at his grandmas and my hubby goes over there to watch him or take him out, until his ex pick him up. On nights where he has to spend the night my hubby leaves him with his grandma.
My husband asked me why am I suddenly accomodating to his baby's mother.
This was my explanation to him:
*I am childfree, and you and I have no kids together. Therefore I don't want it to appear as if we do*, i.e toys in my house or car when the boy is not around, the car seat in the car if the boy is not here. AND I don't care to attend any events for the boy or anything of that nature. ( I will if I have to)
My husband was a little shocked to say the least (and pretty pissed). HE KNOWS I DONT WANT CHILDREN & DONT WANT OUR LIVING ENVIROMENT TO SEEM LIKE WE DO. I guess I put it to him in a way that rubbed him uncomfortably. So in order for me to not sound like I hate his son and never want him around....
I put it to him like this:
You know you have an absurdly jealous and psychotic baby mother that only wants you to spend time with your son alone (or away from me). All I'm saying is I agree with that for my own reasons that you are already aware of.
His consternation vanished. No man want's his wife and his baby's mother going at it all the time. She's very provoking.
And that's it. For the record, I was actually really pleasant to the boy when he came around considering the feelings I have for not wanting any children.
His baby's mother may change her mind in the future but considering the facts: she was with this man for 6 years, had a son by him b4 they split up, got dumped only for him to marry a woman he's only known for a year. I would be bitter as hell if this were me, so my odds are looking good.
Thanks for reading!