I bet not one person has a sitch like mine.
I'm wanting to hear from anyone who has stepkids that are not part of your household for whatever reason. The reasons my SS is not part of my household are not the issue, and I am not looking for that to change, or for advice or opinions about the facts of my situation. What I AM wondering though, is if anyone out there has a similar situation that maybe can give me a glimpse of what I can look forward to? I doubt there is anyone, but it's worth a shot. I believe if you are not in my shoes, you will not understand and will lash out at me, which I will ignore.
Trying to be brief, my situation is that my husband has "visitation" every other weekend of this boy he had (out of wedlock therefore this arrangement has been this boy's whole life) and he is now 14. My husband (10yrs) and I have a fairly "normal" life with our 2 daughters, ages 7 and 9, except for the fact that husband is gone overnight on alternating weekends for these visits. When the boy was little, husband had visits from Friday thru Monday, but general life has changed that to now be either Fri night thru Sun Morning (2 nights) or Sat morning to Sun evening (1 night with 2 full days) - my point being, that it does vary and is less now than it was in the beginning. Exorbitant child support was ordered and has always been paid. My question is...do we really have 4 more years of these disruptive slumber party weekends? Or do these teens eventually get a life and not care to hang with a parent like normal teens from nuclear families? The catch is...SS gets anything he wants during visits and is quite indulged (due to husband's guilt) and is more like a peer to husband than a son. SS views these visits as getaways from the people who are his "parents" in his life. It's just getting increasingly disruptive to our daughters and our family activities. All I will say about the reasons for the exclusion of SS is that they are complex, and began as a direct consequence of husband's actions, and it is necessary for our daughters' well-being. It's an unfortunate choice that needed to be made. Husband struggles with it, and I hold my breath waiting for it to end. So when will that be? God I hope it's sooner than 4 years, but if not, then so be it. I just want my husband home! and his paychecks to stay in his hands!