What do you think is appropriate for Father's Day?
I have 3 adult children, and I encourage them to do something for their father to honor him,on his specail day (I am divorced from him and do nothing for him).
My husband also has 3 adult children. My husband is not the father of my children. I do special things for my husband often, but I feel that this is a day that it is meant for children to do something to honor their father on his special day (it would be different if they were minor children living with us, then I would help the minor children organize something for their Dad). His children are ages 24, 25, and 29.
My husband and I talked about what expectations are, and he said that he feels that his kids should do something for him, "After all, it is Father's Day, not Husband's Day", said my husband. It would be different if he were the father of my children.
My hushand's children will (based on what they have done in past years) do nothing for him. They will wait for me to organize a celebration for him, and then invite them to it. They will expect me to either invite them to a Father's Day cookout (and they will offer to bring NOTHING, and offer to do no clean up, or preparation, and they will arrive and expect to be treated like guests), or they will expect me to organize a Father's Day meal at a restaraunt (the meal is to honor my husband, but he will get stuck paying the tab for everyone). His middle child almost never gets him a gift, she apparantly feels that her presence alone is gift enough!
My 3 children have always gotten my husband a Father's Day gift. His children have never gotten me a Mother's Day gift.
I wonder what I should do. I feel like if I sit back and wait to see what happens (another words, I don't organize anything) that most likely nothing will happen. Then his kids will go into this "Poor Dad" mode, where they will feel sorry for him because his new wife won't even do anything special for him. It seems that they feel that it is up to me do plan something for Father's Day. And if something isn't planned, that I would be the one letting my husband down. They don't look at it like they would be the ones letting him down.
It seems like they think that it is "Children's Day. A day for them to come back home and be honored. Any sugestions for getting them to take ownership of Father's Day celebrations? I am not trying to be negative, and don't really want negative comments back. I am looking for positive feedback please. I really don't think that his kids realize how this comes across to us. I think they just take it for granted that I will organize a celebration and pay for it, but they should get the recognition.