I have to be excluded from SS birthdays, sports, etc.
I need honest advice. I have been with my husband for four years now. We have been married a year and half. My husband has a son from a previous relationship. When me and the husband first got together his ex was mad and vindictive about it.
In the past, my husband and his ex were able to throw joint birthday parties for their son and were able to share in his extracurricular activities and such. When we got together, that all stopped. My husband was invited but was never allowed to bring me. His ex eventually moved on and is actually engaged to be married. But she still will not allow for me to come to my SS events. The family has been divided and we have to do two of everything because she will not allow for me to be around.
I was talking to my husband today and he said that he will start going to his son's events without me. I would have thought that with some time she would be over this, but thats not the case.
I feel excluded from my SS life and I find it hard to get closer to him because there is his mother trying to keep me out. I know that it hurts my husband not being allowed to come around with me and thats why I can understand having to leave me out and behind.But it hurts. Is it the right thing to be doing? I am scared that if my husband gives into her demands that it will set the stage for it to be like this forever. I know she is bitter about their break up. Not saying that she is still in love with my husband, but that she hasnt come to terms with it. She has used his son as a tool to get her way. When she gets angry she will refuse to let us see him for weeks.
I have a son from a previous relationship too.And my husband has raised him since he was very little. My son calls my husband dad. It is the only dad he has ever know. My son is younger than the SS and they call each other brother. But it is hard to explain to my son why he cannot be included in birthday's when dad is.I feel like her bitterness has divided my family.
On holidays she calls the shots. Me and my kids have to wait around until she is done with her family's things before we can do our own family's holiday. It has become out of control. My husband takes it all only because he is scared of her keeping his son from him.
I feel like she is a third person in my marriage. I made vows to my husband for better or worse and I intend to keep those promises. But it would be nice to know that things will get better. I need advice or at least some words of strength to see me through this. I feel like Im the only one who has been through this.