full-time SD stopped speaking to me - now what?
hi all. new here. i'm newly married and a full-time stepmom to a 10 year old girl. i met her when she just turned 9. dad and i got married fast. but she was a sweetheart and we got on great initially. she was thrilled to have someone else in the house and we were having a good time.
things kind of went to crap around here when i lost a pregnancy (fairly far along). DS knew about impending baby sister and was quite upset, as we all were. now, several months later, she has turned 10, completed her first year in a big public school, and has more or less stopped speaking to me. she is not a badly behaved kid but she constantly has a bad attitude around the house, sasses her dad and complains all the time. she doesn't want to be responsible for anything or have to do homework or chores. (she spends 1 day/weekend with her mom, who lets her off the hook for everything.) she won't have a conversation with me, barely makes eye contact or answers my questions. i get goodnight hugs now and then and that's about it.
help! is this all normal 10 year old stuff? normal step parenting stuff? i don't expect to be her best friend or anything, but we were working on building a nice, loving relationship and now it feels like the whole thing has gone in the tank. i have no previous parenting experience and have no idea what is appropriate to expect from her or from myself. i don't want to completely disengage but sometimes i feel like i have to.
anyone have any thoughts they can share? thank you!!