So its been a two weeks ... since SDs last blowout.
I know I am going to jinx it but since then she has been decent to everyone and tried to be nice to me ... I flipped out and told her do not speak to me ask your father for everything you need sadly you do not want or need my advice... so basically we have not spoken to each other in the last two weeks :) So our "relationship" has improved.
at 530 pm 2 hours after this all started I called both parents and told them to come and get her neither showed up .... at 730 when hubby got home he and i had it out I then called mom and gave her an earful ...
while on speakerphone in my home with the children present
I said I am embarassed for both of you as parents to have raised such a child it is not fair to your sons to let your daughter run your lives like this ...
I asked both of them why they felt the need to neglect their sons and myself to be degraded by their daughter mom said .... SD told her she was going to act up this weekend because she wanted a friend to sleep over at moms house so if she acted up here she would be able to have the friend over at her house .... so you have taught your daughter a "lesson" and we suffered for that lesson great ... thats good parenting.
Dad said I knew she was going to act up but I didn't think it was going to be this bad thats why SS15 was left in charge ... well its not fair to him or me to have to "deal" with her ...
My only advice will be instead of trying to appease her so she doens't flip out is start parenting her instead of trying to be her friend parent her .... apparently what your doing is not working.
She lost all privelidges here no tv internet phones nothing sit in your room and read twiddle your thumbs I don't care you have lost access to anything I pay for .... dad pays rent gas and electric... so you'll have a warm room with a light. I pay for tv internet food phone food you can eat dinner but no snacks sorry.
Dad and I had a huge discussion about her behavior and he is to deal with her instantly if she is here he is here or he finds someone to care for her elsewhere until he gets home.
SD realized that day her parents were not going to "save" her .... she called them to come get her, I called them to come get her, her brothers called someone help us ... no one showed up ... the cops came ... no one saved any of us ...
In the 4 hours that we endured this behavior:
SD called the police during all this said I was neglecting her and she had a warrant to have me arrested because she couldn't talk to her mother ... (mom wouldn't answer the phone) she wanted her brother arrested for assault she broke things in my home. SD said some really nasty vile things to me about me and I won't repeat them just to nasty... to hear out of an adult nevermind a child. She spit at me and her brother smashed a hole in a wall in her room.... they were physically fighting in her room with the door locked the cat was in there I couldn't get in to stop them she did something to the cat I still don't know but the cat was screaming.... they finally unlocked the door I took the door knob off she won't get that back for a long time.
So two weeks later she is nice to her brothers and father no clue on mom's relationship with her.
She and I do not speak the cat will not go anywhere near her.
She is allowed to use the phone but not the internet or tv. I am sure when school gets out Ill let her have tv again but for now nothing that I pay for.
She did apologize for the nasty vile things she said.... she didn't know what she was saying ok I'll bite an accept that but if you ever speak to me that way again I will have you removed from my home and if you want to see your father it will have to be somewhere else. This is my home and I will not be tormented in my own home by a 12 yr old.