15yo SD and hatred for me
I have two stepkids, 18 and 16, and a daughter 17. My daughter works and has been working since she was 16. My stepson does not work and lives with his dad and I. He just graduated high school. SD lives with her mother. Husband and I have been together for 12 years, married 9.
Here goes....I have always gotten along with my SD and her mom (shocking I know). Recently, however, I had a big falling out with her mom and now we don't speak. This has apparently affected my SD because now she is acting out. Every other week she is mad at her dad for something or another. We have supported her in every way possible you can think of financially and emotionally. We recently went to one of her soccer games and she completely ignored us as if we weren't even there (actually walked right past us and wouldn't even look at us). We were both like okay? not sure what we did to deserve that. Then she sends her dad a text and tells him she is done with us...that he is controlled by me and he will not fix his son's car but fixes my daughter's car and does not give his kids any money...that they were his kids first and they should come before my daughter and I. I don't disagree with that somewhat. I do believe that all kids need to be treated equally. My daughter does work and pays for her own vehicle. We bought both of the kids their vehicles when they turned 16. His son does not want to work, so his car is broke down and we told him we will not fix it until he gets a job. He is used to everyone taking care of him and doesn't want to do anything for himself. Unfortunately, we don't have much of a relationship with him and he just basically sleeps here it seems. Things are fair and I always make sure of it because I would never want a child to think that any one of the kids is being favored over another.
My husband asked his daughter many times to go to dinner so they could talk. He sent her a text asking her again yesterday morning and she told him no. Then she sent him a text last night because she needed a favor because her mom wouldn't do it for her and like always my husband went running to her basically brushing off everything she said about us.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I am at my end of the rope with his daughter. I feel like she disrespects us and then it gets swept under the rug when she is over her mood because that is the only way her dad can have a relationship with her. I am now uncomfortable around her knowing that she doesn't care for me when I thought we had a good relationship. I have tried and tried with her and now all of a sudden she doesn't speak to me. Again, not even sure what I did to her all of a sudden. I don't know what to do. Please help!!!