wonder if the movie is off.....

mom2emallMay 2, 2010

Well I told you all about bm thinking she could ignore the kids all the time and then take them on Mother's Day to make herself feel good. We shot that idea down as we already have plans with them and quite frankly I am the mother to the kids, she is more like a distant relative if anything!

Well she had told the kids she would figure another date to take them to see the new movie they wanted to see that she was trying to entice them with for Mother's Day to get them to see her. She has yet to get back to them.

Last weekend sd's both layed into her about missing middle sd's game as well as ss's game. They had told bm in advance and the night before texted her and got her excuses. Even though she was off work she could not come because it would involve waking her younger kids up too early to drive bf to work and keep the vehicle for the day. And of course even though they live with 10 other people nobody could watch sleeping kids while she drove bf to work and nobody had a vehicle they could lend her to go see local games.

Both sd's layed into her and told her they would like to be first for once.....to which her defense is that they were her 2 first born children so they would always be first! The girls told her what a bad mom she was to all 3 of them and how she could care less about them. Bm then tried to turn it around and tell them that it was late and this is not what she needed to hear before bed. So the girls did not respond to her text and have not gotton a text or call since.

So I am wondering if bm is just going to avoid them all now or actually still make plans to take them to the movie another day. The kids asked me and I told them to call her if they wanted to know. They said they did not want to call her and could me and dh take them to see the movie since bm is not. I told them I was not sure. DH and I discussed it because it is a movie we wanted to see too and had actually discussed taking the kids to see before bm called and asked to take them. We do not take the kids to movies often because it is so darn expensive. DH thinks if bm does not call for 2 more weeks it is pretty safe to say she is not taking them to the movie and we could go ahead and take them. I think we should not take them because she promised to take them. If we go take them then she will be able to say "I would have taken you but your dad already did". If we don't take them then she has no excuse. And we could always wait till it comes out on video or goes to the dollar show. What do you all think?

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I think you should take them if you want to go; do whatever you would do if BM did not exist. Of course she will say that she would have taken them. It sounds like your kids already know she has one excuse after another, and have already realized that the odds of her taking them are somewhere between slim and none. If you, DH, and kids want to see it why should you end up having to watch it on DVD because BM should get another chance to keep her word, when everyone in your house knows it ain't gonna happen?!

Just ignore her and go about you and your family's business. It sounds like she'll get tired(if she's not already) with the damned neediness of the kids - don't they realize that it's all about her?

    Bookmark   May 2, 2010 at 12:51PM
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Mattie said " It sounds like she'll get tired(if she's not already) with the damned neediness of the kids - don't they realize that it's all about her?"

I shouldn't laugh... because it's sad.
But that was brilliant.

Mom2, if BM hasn't called to make an alternate plan by two weeks from the day of the phone calls, take the kids to the movie. The kids want to see it, you and DH want to see it; why should you all sit around and wait for BM to stop being a self-involved schmuck?
Give her a bit of time to see if she makes reasonable alternate plans. If not, enjoy the show.

    Bookmark   May 2, 2010 at 5:16PM
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didn't call for 2 weeks? take them to the movies. she is awful, and kids know it.

    Bookmark   May 2, 2010 at 6:15PM
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Go to the movies if you want and stop worrying about that woman. She is not worrying about you or her kids. Who cares if she likes it or not? Don't let her run what is really Your family.

    Bookmark   May 2, 2010 at 10:56PM
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I do want to see the movie, I just don't want to supply bm with another excuse. I am at the point where I just want the kids to see her for the liar, promise breaker, and selfish person she is. I do not want to do anything to block that view. While they do see it sometimes, middle sd is at the point where she teeter tooters back and forth between seeing it and making excuses for it.

I would almost rather wait for the movie to be at the dollar show or on video just so we are not blamed for bm not being able to take "her babies" to see it. I want there to be no excuses involving us on why bm again did not do what she said she would.

I know that probably sounds awful, but I am just sick of bm and her lies and games. And I am sick of the attitudes I get from middle sd about it and how she fills her little brother's head with bm's excuses. I obviously can not come out and tell them what their mom is....but I can make sure they get a good view to help them form their opinions.

    Bookmark   May 3, 2010 at 10:39AM
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I think that makes a lot of sense. Leave the ball on the movie in her court, no movie is that critical to see but it could be critical for you to let things unfold on her promise to take the kids. That way, as you say, they see things for themselves without you blocking.

Good luck.

    Bookmark   May 3, 2010 at 10:57AM
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"Not what she needed to hear before bed." I love this. It's just like what SD's mom told her the other night on BM's b-day. She had (per SD) told SD they would go to dinner that night. The day of when SD inquired about plans she found out BM planned to go out with friends. When SD said "but I thought we had plans?" She was told "Don't make me feel like sh#t on my special day." WOW. Gotta love the selfless parent.

I say you ask the girls, since they've asked you to take them. Be honest - "we're hesitant to take you to the movie because your mom said she would. DO you think it best to wait to hear from her, or . . .?" $10 says they won't want to wait, but at least then BM has no one to cry foul to - her own kids opted not to wait on her. She can't really cry that you stole the opportunity from her then, huh?

    Bookmark   May 4, 2010 at 1:53AM
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