Rather strange question regarding bedrooms

lovehadleyMay 8, 2009

DH and I love our house--but we also love to look at homes. There is a particular area of our little suburb that we would love to live in because it's within walking distance of the "downtown" area. We LOVE the idea of being able to walk to get ice cream, walking to the bakery or Starbucks on a Sat. morning, walking to the pool, the park, etc.

ANYWAY, it's a very pricey area and a move there is years down the road, because ideally we would love to buy a tear-down and build. So IF it ever happened, it would be 3-5 years from now.

BUT if we happened to find a "livable" tear-down home NOW, one that we could live in for a few years before building...well, we would do it! So we are always kind of *looking* but not really looking, if you kwim.

One factor for us is bedrooms. We absolutely have to have two bedrooms for the kiddos that are relatively equal in size. We looked at a house a few weeks ago that is on a street we would love-probably our first choice street. It is an old home, a tear-down, but very spacious and livable until then. The prob was--seriously, one the bedrooms was HUGE and the other was pretty small. We nixed it for a couple other reasons ( namely, we are not sure if we really want to mess with selling our home, etc right now!) but the bedroom thing was a factor.

We got very lucky when we bought this house. We bought it in a hurry because DH had a quick closing on his old house. (Long story, he had put it on the market, thinking it would take months to sell, and WHAM, he got a contract right away, and we had about 6 weeks to find and buy a house!)

The kids bedrooms are nearly identical, although DD has more closet space, but that made sense b/c she's a girl, and has dresses, etc. that need to be hung up, whereas SS mostly uses his dresser.

For those of you that have multiple kids, how do you determine bedroom assignments? Does time spent at the house play a role? Does age play a role? Gender? etc.

I guess this is just one more reason for us to build down the road if we ever move--then we can design the rooms as needed!

Just curious how others have handled these issues, though.

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Well we are now looking into buying a home. The interest rate is really low now and we are ready to move. We have been looking at 3 bedroom houses. BUT my dh's kids come eow ...and now once a month or so...so yah
1. Time is a factor for us. Our son is with us 100%. His kids....less than 5 % now.
2. He's got two, they will shared regardless of sex because they come so little of time. I know sd is pissed about it, but my dh and i are holding our grounds on this one. And he tells her, youcome once a month now and you want a bedroom to yourself? Nope...no way.
3. I want a second one of my own and told my dh that if i'm preggers thsi year , he'll have to build an extra room downstairs for his kids and guests as well. I intend the room to be a guest room all together and so does my hubby.
to me gender doesn't play a role in my case, his kids share now, b and g...and they will share again.
Now if i have another boy, he will still be separate because they would be 5-6 years apart and i wont put a cry loud baby with a 6 year old.
Your kids live with you full time? Maybe they can share at the beginning and then split them up when they get older.
I shared my room wtih my brother for years until we were 12 years old. And it helped when my older brother moved out and it became possible.
This all depends on visitation rights, amout of time, and yes others would split boy and girl. To each their own.
My friend who's father was divorced had his two kids come eow. He gave no room to them at all. They slept onthe couch. He had 3 new kids with his wife and gave them the space because they used the space 24 / 7.
So yah, time spent to me is an important fact.
p.s My dh is twirling the idea of giving them no room at all i told him just make a general guest room for anyone and when they come they both have that room. i dont' like the idea of his kids sleeping on the couch when they come..or even any guest...i like peopel to be comfortable in my home when visitiing.

    Bookmark   May 8, 2009 at 12:59PM
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"Your kids live with you full time? Maybe they can share at the beginning and then split them up when they get older"

Oh, it's not an issue for us. We have a 3 bedroom house now so they each have their own. If/when we ever moved, we would not buy a house with less than 3 bedrooms.

I was really just curious about what others have done. It was kind of a hypothetical question.

    Bookmark   May 8, 2009 at 1:20PM
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We worried over that when we moved together. I found this great house near my work. My two little boys share a room, SD has her own room being the only girl and 12. my 16 and His 13 are sharing the whole upstairs with 16S on one side of the stairs and SS13 on the other side even being really just an open area. That has caused problems between the boys because SS only goes up there when he wants to spy on 16. SS will not sleep up there to save his life, maybe 5 times out of this whole year. He sleeps on the couch and hangs out in SD's room. When he lived with us all those months he slept in SD room then he would go to the couch when she came. I think that if the two older boys were blood brothers they could share that space but since they are not it doesn't work as well. SS is into the drama and will tick BS off so a big thing gets going and the lines get drawn. The short answer would be it depends on what the relationship between the kids your trying to mix.

    Bookmark   May 8, 2009 at 1:38PM
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If it's an issue of who gets the 'better' room versus having to share a room,
what about making the better room come with more 'chores' -- kind of like how a better apartment costs more rent?
You'd have to figure out a way to 'auction' it off so that each kid has the Room + Workload package they chose,
and you'd need to have serious consequences for failure to complete agreed-upon chores,
but it could work...

    Bookmark   May 8, 2009 at 6:03PM
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I think most kids dont care that much about the "better" room -- as long as tehy get their own room, they are pretty happy. If one has a private bath, then thats a different matter. As to who gets a better - combination of time at house, age etc.

Organic, you seem to delight any time your stepchildren dont get what they want. Its one thing to be fair, but there is no need to revel when they dont get what they want.

    Bookmark   May 8, 2009 at 6:49PM
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ours is in no way equal, but no one seems to care!
SD has the upstairs master w/ 2 closets and a little bath - perfect for a teenage girl. The boys wanted to share a room still so they are in the big room upstairs with their sister. The 3rd room up there is the guest room and one of the boys will take it eventually. It's half the size of the big one, so Sweeby's chore idea might need to come into play when we decide that. There is another guest room downstairs with us one could use, but I think the kids all like having their own floor.
I've never heard the boys complain that their sister has the better room. I don't think it ever crossed their minds to.

    Bookmark   May 8, 2009 at 8:00PM
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We had that issue when we moved. We had 4 bedrooms and 4 kids plus us. So we knew that either the boys or the girls would have to share. We decided that since the boys were younger they could share a room and we gave them the biggest bedroom. We figured girls need privacy...especially the older one. We let the girls pick their rooms and luckily they didn't argue over it. My older sd's room is bigger and has a much bigger closet....but middle sd's room has a cool ceiling.

I would say when your looking at houses bring the kids with. Let them pick which rooms they want. And if they do decide on the same room point out the plusses about the other room (view, proximity to the bathroom, closets, etc.)

    Bookmark   May 8, 2009 at 8:18PM
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No kkny, i dont revel in it. You would like to see that because you have a personal issue with sms. So pick on someelse to poop on when your in the mood. The stepkids stuff with you wont fly with me. I am a stepkid myself:) I do what is FAIR. And it wont be by your standards.
My sd has control issues, obsessive control issues because of the divorce andher mom. You should see what she does to her own brother. He has low selfesteem and pure fear sometimes when his sister is around.
My husband has finally seen it and has a tight rope around the situation to teach her she cannot always get what she wants and that means bulling other people to get it is wrong.
I can go on forever. She's not a bad person. She has her good days and bad days. And my ss is a really good kid. Doesn't deserve what she dishes out. Should she go to council...yah, but both parents wont do it. So viola!

    Bookmark   May 9, 2009 at 7:26AM
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