OT - Need Some Advice

motherof3sonsMay 3, 2013

My daughter-in-law's mother has been in the hospital for over a week. She is now in an ICU stepdown unit, but remains undiagnosed. It is frightening because she is otherwise a very healthy person and young - at least to me (55).

My wonderful DIL has been with her mother for the duration; never leaving the hospital. She is the "go to" person in the family and is bearing a great deal of the weight.

I wish to create a goodie basket for her and one for her mother. Any suggestions GW friends?

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I know Whole Foods will create a gift basket for you-you can either select what you want or they'll organize items, then create the basket including wrapping, ribbon etc.

My local indie spirits store also does gift baskets. If she is a wine or liquor connisseur that might be nice. The shop I use also puts in gourmet chocolate, nuts, crackers and so on. It's a nice presentation.

What a wonderful MIL you are to be so thoughtful!

    Bookmark   May 3, 2013 at 5:08PM
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Another thought is to include goodies that she will be able to eat while staying bedside. Larabars, mixed nuts, apples, and dried fruit along with some coconut water or juice that is shelf stable. And a good book or magazine and notebook and pen for passing the time. Also if she is into cross stitch or knitting that might be something she can use to keep her hands busy. Best wishes for recovered health.

    Bookmark   May 3, 2013 at 5:21PM
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My son is medically fragile, and I have spent countless hours at hospitals. The number one thing I have enjoyed from friends is food and crappy magazines. The food at hospitals is so horrible, and to be able to eat something nice makes such a difference. Standouts for me have been fresh cut fruit, and easy to store and reheat things. My thoughts with you and your DIL.

    Bookmark   May 3, 2013 at 5:33PM
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My thoughts are with you during this difficult time and hoping they figure out the problem.
Treats are appreciated and most stores will help put together a basket for you.
Take care of yourself as well.
Sending positive energy your way.

    Bookmark   May 3, 2013 at 7:40PM
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Books/magazines are good choices, ones with short sections/stories so you don't have to concentrate for long. Mental Floss is a great magazine for light entertainment with interesting info.

Whole fruit, snack packs, etc and small gift cards to nearby places for take out are also good.

For mom, same, though she may have a restricted diet. Also some cozy slipper socks to wear in bed and/or a soft throw if she tends to get cold.

A couple of decks of playing cards and some printed out games or small card game book might be welcome.

Things just have to be easy to care for, easy to tuck away, and not valuable enough to be stolen.

What a sweet thought! I'm sure anything you do would be very much appreciated. Hope she is feeling better soon.

    Bookmark   May 3, 2013 at 8:07PM
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What a lovely idea and great way to serve your DIL! I would also suggest including a hand written note of encouragement and support to each woman. I'm sure they are exhausted after this ordeal, and your love will mean a great deal!

    Bookmark   May 3, 2013 at 8:34PM
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IDK, not sure I'd do food. My mom recently died of cancer, and my dad and I spent countless hours at the hospital - when she was first diagnosed and had her surgery, and again 18 mos. later when we learned there was nothing more to be done for her.

Honestly, food was the last thing on my mind, but caring for my kids and home was #1. The people that helped with those things filled me with such love, it brought tears to my eyes. I will probably never forget when I stopped by my parents' home to pick up clothes for her and my dad only to find all of my uncles weeding and mowing. My aunts were inside cleaning and rearranging furniture to make it easier for her to get around, and to make sure things were ready for my brother to come and stay. My MIL had my kids for more time than I can recollect and my cousin helped her with them, picked up my mail and newspaper and fed my cats.

To be honest, Dad and I were happy to use a daily (or more) trip to the hospital's cafe or a nearby restaurant as an excuse to get out of there and discuss things in a more private setting. Food at my home would have just rotted away.

    Bookmark   May 3, 2013 at 8:47PM
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I was very sick and in the hospital for a month, including an ICU stay. At one point, the doctors told my husband I may not make it. Anyhow.... I have a perspective and personal experience.

The above poster talking of her family helping out with their time is what I have to reiterate.

If you live too far to be of help with your time, then do the basket.

If you are near by, then your TIME will be WAY more helpful than the goodies that you bring.

Some helpful things:
Make dinners for the family left behind. (ie your grandchildren if the DIL is in the hospital with her mother)
do their laundry.
clean the house
walk the dog.
Take the kids to school.
Take care of the kids

Don't ask, just do.

My parents and my husbands' parents came from far and stayed for weeks to help out with all of the above. Even after they left, my entire neighborhood rallied and delivered dinner to our family for months during the hospital stay and after I got home. Many of the families took turns caring for our 2 little kids while I was in the hospital and my husband was at the bedside for hours on end. I will forever be grateful for my friends in the neighborhood.

    Bookmark   May 3, 2013 at 9:21PM
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Thank you everyone for your kind words and wonderful ideas. The hospital is about 2.5 hours from us and 4 hours from my son and DIL. They do not have children so there is not that level of stress.

Janin62 - I am sorry to read of your son's medical issues. You will be in my thoughts.

Controlfreakec - My heart goes out to you for the loss of your mom. ***HUGS***

Kaismom - Sorry to read about your illness. This had to be very frightening for you and your family. I hope you are healthy and will keep you in my thoughts.

This is why I love GW - especially the Kitchen Forum. A person asks for help and everyone is willing to provide ideas, best practices, etc. Thank you all.

    Bookmark   May 4, 2013 at 8:47AM
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