Summer custody schedules

lovehadleyMay 24, 2010

Does anyone else switch to a different schedule in the summer?

I am looking forward to our summer schedule. During the school year, DH has SS on Wed/Thurs and EOW. (It's called a 5-5-2-2 split.)

In the summer, it is actually supposed to be divided into 2 week increments; however, DH and BM did not like the idea of 2 week stretches, and I am inclined to agree. 2 weeks is a long time for SS who is used to seeing each of his parents often.

So they decided to do 1 week increments. We did NOT do this last summer, so this is the first summer we've tried it.

I personally think it will be great! Much less moving around for SS, less driving for DH and BM, and we will have the ability to plan more things.

They're doing Sunday at noon to Sunday at noon.

We've got SS and DD signed up for a couple week-long camps. In the past, it's been tough to do this, as we live so far away from BM and it's hard for US to put SS in a camp in our area and then expect her to do some of the driving. So the week-long stretches will be perfect.

We'll be able to take some trips, and not have to worry about whether we only have SS for 2 days that week, etc.

It should just be a really nice, relaxed schedule for everyone.

What is your summer schedule like?

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First of all how are things going LH? Have things gotton better with DH? I remember your post a while back.

Well my schedule with my ex is pretty flexible. He gets 2 weeks uninterrupted visitation during the summer, but because he is in the trades that is his busiest work time and he can never get that time off. So he sticks to the EOW and 1 night a weeek routine with ds. When either of us have anything special going on we switch weekends or days. We have been able to be pretty flexible.

With my skids their bm has no visitation schedule. And with her moving out of state all the time she has not seen the kids during the summer in 3 years. We have allowed them to go out of state to stay with bm's parents for a week before. And bm's family has come into town at least once a year to spend time with the kids. It is kind of nice that way though because then they can be in activities and play with friends all summer without any problems. And scheduling vacations is really easy :)

    Bookmark   May 24, 2010 at 7:15PM
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During the summer, we get SS for 8 weeks, with him spending EOW at his moms. Normally its broken up into 2 4-week chunks and then his mom takes a week in the middle. Before this newest visitation schedule we would get him for 8 solid weeks (which I miss).

    Bookmark   May 24, 2010 at 10:31PM
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During the summer, BM is supposed to have SD during the week & DH picks her up Friday until Sunday on the first three weekends each month. (just the opposite of the school year schedule) and we get her back a few days before school starts so we can do the shopping & preparations.

This summer, DH has told SD that if there is something fun going on at her mom's house that she wants to do, she can choose whether she wants to come here for that weekend... as long as it's okay with BM for her to stay.

One of the problems we've had with SD is her being upset that she is missing out on fun stuff there because she has to come here... so DH has left it open to stay with mom to do all the fun things in summer. (because she broods when she is here but thinks she is missing out over there)

    Bookmark   May 25, 2010 at 1:20AM
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Thanks for asking mom2emall.

We are doing well! DH & I are in marriage counseling; I really love our counselor, she is GREAT. My friend recommended her---her older sister and her husband saw this woman 2 years ago and they claim she saved their marriage. So far, she has been great. She is very down to earth and gives good, practical solutions; she is great about teaching us to communicate and to nourish our marriage.

DH has been great. This whole situation has really brought him to his knees in a lot of ways--it's like his eyes have been opened to so many things, and there is a real sense of change in him. He wrote me a letter and read it in counseling---and basically "made ammends" to me for all the ways he's hurt me, and all the things he's done or not done that have contributed to the demise of our relationship. It was good (although sad) to hear him acknowledge his mistakes. I appreciated that so much and I know it can't have been easy for him. At some point, I need to reciprocate.

I am also seeing someone by myself, a psychiatrist. I've come to the conclusion---through myself, but also through the marriage counselor--that I have a lot of emotional pain over being the child of an alcoholic mother and emotional/verbal abuse I went through. I don't blame my parents or the things I went through, but I do recognize their impact on WHO I am now and HOW I carry it with me, and how it affects every relationship I have. I need to work through it so I can LET IT GO.

So I am trying to do a lot of work on myself so I can be a better mother, wife and person.

But marriage wise, we are doing better than ever. I feel very much recommitted to each other, almost like this is the start of things for us. We have a brand new idea of what marriage and family is.

We have A LOT of work to do but it's a good start. :)

    Bookmark   May 25, 2010 at 9:15AM
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Lovehadley I am so happy to hear things are so much better for you! I was so sad after your post about having troubles, it is great to hear the improvements. And I am so happy for you that your dh is seeing how much pain he caused you and acknowledging that.

    Bookmark   May 25, 2010 at 4:11PM
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I am also very happy to hear that things are so much better for you LH, are you two still living separately? How are the kids handling that?
Our custody changed back in September to week on week off same as what you are going to and we are looking forward to it this summer as it makes vacation planning much easier. BM just informed us she is moving 3 hours away so DH and BM are going back to court we are trying for custody of the boys our mediator is suggesting we get the two boys and she gets 14 year old girl so I guess we will see!
Again glad to hear things are going better for you guys!

    Bookmark   May 25, 2010 at 6:53PM
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