Etiquette for exspouses and adult children
My husband and I divorced our respective exspouses several years ago. We have been married for close to 12 years, had respective custody of our children, raised them as a blended family beginning in their early/mid teenagerhood to adulthood, and who are now in their twenties. We do not speak to our exes, however, as the children are going through graduations and weddings we are all thrown together. Everyone has generally just ignored the other parties during the events. Our problem is that now that our children are hosting events they tell us that it is our problem and will not seperate the two families, when possible, since these are usually just 20 or so people. We have asked if we could have a short amount of time for just our family (which one of us did do with inlaws in the previous marriage). We have used the analogy of not inviting friends that you know do not get along to the same party. Basically, they say it is our problem. They have even told us that the ex would not be there, and then the ex showed up and the kids later told us they wanted to see what would happen. My husband and I could not leave as we had provided much of the food and the ex entourage showed up empty handed. We have not discussed our ex's short-comings in terms of parenting or lack of providing financial support. Does anyone have good experience or advice? And no, being "friendly" to them will not work. Been there, done that. And all divorcing parties have remarried.