Update ~ Court today!!!
Well, it went fairly well. A little background/update on how we got here today.
Several months ago (in December), DH filed contempt charges for unpaid medical bills. BM failed to show in court so it was dropped but when she came to court for DCSS, they gave them a new court date.
A few weeks ago, I went with DH to pick up SD... the first time in over 6 months (I stayed in the car & never even saw her) But that was the weekend SD fell & hurt her tailbone but BM didn't bother taking her to the hospital... but BM twisted her own ankle & went to the ER, then called SD to tell her not to worry because it's not broken.) That day, BM told DH that they are lowering her child support. The following week, SD wanted to stay an extra day with us to go to a BBQ but BM said no. The night before she was to be picked up, SD threw up in the middle of the night. When BM found out SD wasn't in school because she got sick... instead of rushing to pick her up early, she wanted to cancel... which meant we can't go to the BBQ with a sick child. BM's mother reluctantly came to get SD, who said she was feeling better. I guess grandma made SD wear a surgical mask all the way home so she didn't give any germs to her.
Anyway, then came phone calls about SD's shoes that I had confiscated from her the week before. I had a phone call with grandma.. she began yelling at me. I yelled back. Lots of profanities & BM put grandma's phone on speaker & joined in. Well, apparently SD was listening to the whole conversation along with her sister. Then BM went on Facebook & posted that I am threatening & harassing her & stalking her & her daughter. She used my full name & my DH's full name.
So, there are a lot of court things going on:
1. BM is trying to get her support lowered & pay half of what the court ordered her to pay on arrears. She also wants the court to let her mail in her job search forms.
1.a. DH objected to everything she wanted. He said she is supposed to drive up here anyway to pick up her daughter, she can bring her job search forms & drop them off on those days instead of making special trips like she claimed. He noted that she didn't report all of her income or give proof of any of her income to modify support. and she hasn't paid a penny in a year so she doesn't deserve a break on the arrears payment.
2. DH filed contempt on BM not paying anything for the past year, including medical bills.
2.a. BM didn't file an answer but did tell the court that DH only sent her invoices, not receipts so she didn't think she has to pay them.
3. DH filed to ask the court to make BM transport SD to an from all visits since he has been working 7 days a week & BM sits home all day & has more time on her hands. He also asked the court to make her pay the bus fee since we've paid it for the last four years.... well, I have.
3.a. BM responded that they should meet halfway to exchange SD, which would mean that DH would drive an hour to get home then double back for an hour & half to meet on Fridays because he works on Friday. BM also asked the court to make DH pay for the shoes we confiscated.
4. I filed a case against BM for defamation of character and Libel because she wrote lies about me, using my full name on the internet, which may pop up if my name is ever googled. There were also several responses to her post and two included offers to send people to "take care" of me. Plus the lies about me were saying I committed illegal acts.
4.a. BM has not responded to it.
Today was the hearing on the child support, arrears, transportation, and bus fee. The Judge was not impressed with her. DCSS tried to sell out DH because they were going to accept her request to lower support to zero & pay half on the arrears. So when they got in front of the Judge, DH objected & won. The Judge started calculating what the support should be & BM tells him that she had another baby, like it would help. The Judge said "how do you support the baby you had if you have no income?" and she had the dumbest look on her face for what seemed like a long time, but was probably a minute. Then she said the father supports the baby... so then she tries to tell him that if she were to get a job, she would have child care expenses that would be expensive. He tells her that's what happens when you decide to have more children, there are expenses that should be expected with baby's. So, he tells her that if he goes forward, her support will go up. So, he decides to leave it at $216 per month. He also refused to let the arrears payment be lowered. (She tried to explain that the reason she didn't report her spousal support is because she is engaged to be married to BF & the spousal support will end. DH says she's still married. BM tells the Judge her ex won't sign the papers, that's why she's still married~ she so stupid because in CA, the ex doesn't need to sign divorce papers & of course the Judge knows that so he looked at her like she's crazy) Besides, if a guy is paying temporary spousal support & getting a divorce will end it... because she wants to remarry, who in their right mind would refuse to get divorced? DUH!
On DH's motion to make her transport & pay the bus fee, DH is told he has to pay the bus fee since the child lives with him. He is also told that SD is the person that matters the most & the public policy is for children to have frequent & continuing contact with both parents, so he was denying the motion to make her do all the transport. DH gave it his best, trying to convince the Judge that fuel prices are killing us, he works 7 days a week & it's a 6 hour round trip, etc. But the Judge repeated it several times... "your daughter needs frequent & continuing contact with BOTH parents so you're going to have to continue to do half of the transporting". DH walked out of the court so upset until I laid it out for him what the Judge was really saying... that if he made BM do all the transporting, she probably wouldn't come see SD at all & that would hurt SD.
DCSS objected to DH's motion for contempt on the child support she hasn't paid so the court dismissed that case. So, DH at least won in that he didn't let her drop the support down to zero. He didn't know until today that she was trying to get it lowered to nothing... I'm very proud of him because it's the first time he's been in court without our attorney. They were going to award him attorney fees but since he went on his own, there was none to claim.
As for my case with BM... that is scheduled for next week.