To Wii or not to Wii Part 2

lamomApril 18, 2010

So, I took part of the advice of this board and didn't take the other part regarding loaning SS30 DS7's Wii game in exchange for babysitting DS7. I did not want to loan it since SS30's kids are notoriously destructive. I did take DS7 to SS30's home for the weekend but did not take the Wii. I did take a huge bag of snacks, juices, yogurt etc and DS7's favorite board game.

As soon as I came in the door to pick up DS7 from his overnight stay, SS30 and GF told me how SGS9 and DS7 got in to a tug of war over SGS3's favorite snuggle toy, tore off an arm and were both in time out. No biggie to me but they went on and on about how it was SGS3's favorite, his aunt gave it to him, he sleeps with it etc etc clearly expecting me to offer a new one. This time it was my turn to shrug thinking "what's the big deal, get a needle and thread." Then they showed me the remnants of the board game I sent over, box trashed, spinner torn, pieces missing. I was thanking my stars that I asked the group here about sending the Wii and decided not to.

But here's the kicker of the story...found out that SS30 and GF own an XBox 360 AND a Playstation 3 completely hooked up, Internet access on a huge flatscreen! These are the folks who are ALWAYS BROKE. They just don't let the kids play with THEIR toys!!

They wanted ME to bring DS7's Wii and let it be the sacrificial lamb for the weekend!

Thanks GW Forum, dodged that bullet. SS30 and GF gave DS7 a good behavior report and was ok. It will be another long while before DS7 visits again but he came home intact and the Wii stayed put. Whew.

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It never ceases to amaze me when (so called) parents are willing to buy themselves (expensive) things and in the next breath, complain they don't have enough money to buy necessities for their kids... but they always have something to 'justify' it.

Sadly, it is no surprise that they would not let the kids use theirs... they know what would happen. That just shows their blatant disregard for you & your things... ie. the board game. Personally, if it were me... I would have made DS7 apologize for his part in the tug o war... but I would have also made mention that if they were being properly supervised, they would not have had time to tear an arm off the toy. What if someone got hurt? Nobody was watching? But, that would not make your situation any better, but it is maybe something to consider when deciding if you should feel bad/guilty over the toy. I wouldn't. (well, I'd feel bad for SGS3, but his parents were responsible for supervising all the kids.... they should be glad everyone is okay.)

    Bookmark   April 19, 2010 at 1:44AM
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imamommy, DS7 had already apologized during his time out for his part in the tug of war and I had him apologize again. He was crying already when I got there for getting in to trouble.

I don't feel bad at all about the stuffed animal whose arm was torn off. A needle and thread will fix it and honestly, with as many of DS's things that have been trashed by those kids, not replaced or even apologized about I couldn't care less. As a disciplinary measure, SS30 had given DS7 and SGS9 a time out and was quite right to do so. DS7 apologized. Incident concluded to me. Who knows what went on or even what the real story was.

When I saw the big flat screen and the PS3 all hooked up my eyes popped. DS7 plays his Wii on an old fashioned 8-9 year old small TV that we wheel in from another room. Later DS told me about the XBox 360 plus filled me in on how they had cookies for breakfast and some other madness not worth typing about. They are lousy parents but I already knew that.

On the spur of the moment I took DS7 and SGS9 to a movie (left the 3 year old with his parents, just too much to handle in public. His mother seemed to think I should take all 3 kids, puleeze.) I did my step-grandma thing with the snacks and the movie, we left, not to return for a long time.

    Bookmark   April 19, 2010 at 6:52AM
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Another thing, another reason why DS7 will not be visiting his adult half-brother and his family any time again soon is how THEY treat their own kids in his presence.

Although my son is not really an only child because he has two 1/2 sibs, albeit adults, he's being raised like an only. DH and I have completely different parenting approaches than SS30. DS has reported extreme things from his visits like putting expensive video games in the toilet to make a point to SGS9, taking away all of SGS9's toys, yelling at him in adult terms (which I've seen myself, no profanity but still really harsh), completely different treatment for SGS3 than SGS9 and so on.

DS7 likes both of his nephew, yes SGS9 is my son's nephew as is SGS3 but even at his tender age, doesn't like how SGS9 is treated. He knows that SGS9 has problems and gets in to a lot of trouble while SS30 and GF treat SGS3 a lot better. Really, none of this is my concern as I am very detached from that whole crew at this point. But, it's such a lousy example to my son and DH could/should have some influence with it in my opinion.

It wouldn't surprise me in the least if SGS9 becomes SGS15 in some kind of gang leadership position. This is LA you know? He has all of the makings in his thinking, the critical parents, the favored younger child, the disinterested grandparents and so on. He does come from an intact bio family even though they are not married, they've been together almost 10 years consistently.

DS7 feels sorry for SGS9, his nephew but likes him. SGS9 is jealous of DS7, his uncle, but likes him. They both like each other and mostly get along. It would be nice if they could be close in a healthy way but we'll have to see how it all plays out.

    Bookmark   April 19, 2010 at 9:00AM
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Oh my.

One time I was at the beach with the younger sister of a friend and her parents. I don't know where my friend was, but we had "borrowed" her personal swim toy from the mom. Well, we jumped over a rock, passed the toy from one to the other and the toy slipped from our fingers. Gone.

I had to pay for the toy, and the mom yelled at me for being irresponsible and that it was ________'s toy and we should have been more careful, and I was the older, more responsible one and her daughter was the younger one, yadda yadda yadda. I remember being so upset. In hindsight, I think if it's that important it probably shouldn't have been lent out.

Kids will lose things. Kids will break things. Kids should not be tortured mentally for being kids and learning those lessons. I think an apology is appropriate for breaking/losing something as long as it wasn't intentional. If it were, paying for the item would be an appropriate punishment.

    Bookmark   April 19, 2010 at 10:26AM
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I would not expect 7 and 9 year old to be supervised 24/7, they could play by themselves in the room. is anyone here watching 7-year-old when he/she is playing with their toys? i would not leave kids home alone but certainly left kids by themselves in the room at any age. and broken toys is not a big deal at all.

The way they act with their own children is awful, how trashy and inappropriate. Poor children. I agree they will end up in trouble if they are treated this way now.

    Bookmark   April 19, 2010 at 7:16PM
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FD, right, I only expect a babysitting parent to be in the apartment or house within earshot and sprinting distance. The 7 and 9 year old boys playing on their own in a bedroom is fine. I think SS30 and GF just made a mountain out of a molehill with the torn stuffed animal, hoped I would buy another one (wrong), don't know how to use a needle and thread or all of the above.

Like Silver said, kids break and lose things normally. Just the way they are is really something else.

DS7 got an electric train set and a science kit for Christmas. I made a point of hiding them the last time the Stepgrandkids came over.

    Bookmark   April 20, 2010 at 1:51PM
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That's reasonable. I think kids should put away anything they don't want to share or have potentially broken before guests arrive. Special snuggle toys shouldn't be out. Someone stole DD's special toy when she took it to school. Live and learn...

    Bookmark   April 20, 2010 at 2:13PM
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